1. I pulled my dick out at my preschool graduation.
I think it was more awkward for everyone else though.
2. “Sweatpants day” in middle school.
aaaaaaand then the random mid-day boner happened…
3. In second grade a girl’s fake eye fell out on April Fool’s Day.
4. Two guys in my Geography class used to play this game where they’d see who could get a boner first (I don’t know why). Our 60-year-old female teacher notices them talking so asks one of them to go and write on the board at the front of the class. Cue 60 seconds of awkwardness as this guy goes up to the front with a raging boner which everyone has noticed and is laughing at while the teacher is wanting to be anywhere else.
5. This kid at my school a few years ago asked a girl to winter ball with an ice sculpture of a swan in the middle of the quad. She said no.
6. I pass out if someone talks about sexual anatomy in scientific detail. At least it gave the bullies a reason to study up on the correct terms.
7. Grade 5 Sex-Ed Lesson.
Me: completely serious tone “But how does the penis know when to release the semen when it is in the vagina?”
Elderly female teacher: smiles “Oh…it’ll know…”
Me: (thinking) sex is weird.
8. Calling the teacher mom by accident was easily the most awkward. All the other kids look at you like you just shit yourself, meanwhile the teacher has no idea what to say.
9. We had a 5k run to promote epilepsy awareness. Someone in the high school decided that the motto should be, “Seize the day!.” And made posters for it, in total sincerity. That was an awkward assembly.
10. Professor handing back mid-terms in Eng. 1302. Gives girl in front row her paper face down, girl flips it over and says out loud: “I didn’t suck your dick for a B.” Queue lots of blank faces and wide eyes.
11. My jazz band teacher once passed out in the middle of a song. Everyone just stopped playing and stared at each other for about 30 seconds before one of the saxophones said, “Should we call somebody?”
12. Peed in my pants.. I was in the stage .. Singing chorus for the annual function..
13. One time the kid next to me in English class was farting a lot one day in class, and constantly blamed it on me. At one point one is very loud and also smells very bad. I left for the bathroom right after this, and the next Monday when I came in, word on the street was that fart was actually my shitting my pants.
14. I was play flirting with this boy in class and thought it would be cute to throw a pen in his direction but it hit him in the eye and he was fucking pissed off with me for the rest of the year. I really had a crush on him back then it’s sad.
15. Girl sitting across from me at lunch told me she liked me. I didn’t feel the same way. She told me at the beginning of lunch and we had assigned seating so I couldn’t move or get away.
16. We dared a kid to touch a girls Boobs, learned about a term called sexual assault that day.