1. Expecting an Ebay purchase, open the box to find Mom’s new vibrator. Never ever speak of it again. Never happened. Nice weather we’re having today?
2. I was about to leave a house party so I went to retrieve my coat from a bedroom I had left it in. Walked in on two of my friends having sex. Both male, nobody had a clue they were gay.
That was 15 years ago and we’ve never spoken about it. Now they’re both married to women.
3. I was at a Subway in DC and asked the guy behind the counter for a “Football Meatlong.”
He tried to be nice and play it off like he didn’t hear what I said, “I’m sorry, what?”
So I repeated my order for a Football Meatlong.
I realized what I’d said after I heard several giggles. I haven’t been back to that Subway since.
4. So I planned this awesome trip to Florida with my gf to celebrate having dated for a year. This one night we ate a bunch of Thai food which was delicious and then went out to bars and got really drunk. Afterwards we were laying out on the beach staring up at the stars when I realized it was happening. I shot up and ran a few feet away before promptly shitting diarrhea all over the beach. It kinda ruined the romance of the moment. Afterwards we went back to the hotel and I took a shame shower and then we had sex.
5. Fell asleep in the library on campus (I live an hour away so I can’t come and go when I need a nap). Had a wet dream and came in my pants. Still had 2 hours of class later that day.
Not a fun experience.
6. I walked in on my best friend getting head from my sister (they’re dating).
7. Once I got off the phone to my mum asking me to come home when I was at my friends, and when I was saying goodbye I leant down (he was sitting) for a kiss.. I guess I brain farted and thought he was my mum or something. it still gets spoken about, but I wish we could never speak about it again (didn’t kiss)
8. A lizard climbed up my short’s leg and I pissed myself, I was old enough to have bladder control, so idk what happened. I was in front of maybe 3 other people, so it wasn’t as bad as it could be I suppose. Still I would rather not anybody I know know.
9. Before I was able to drive my girlfriend always drove us to dates and stuff. So I would always lean over and kiss her before getting out of the car. Fast forward, my buddy is dropping me off at home and without thinking I lean over with pursed lips and go for a kiss. He was clearly put off. My eyes flew wide open when I realized what I was doing but it was too late. Now it looks like I went for a kiss, didn’t get it and was shocked about not getting kissed.
10. Around the time this happened, I was trying a bunch of accents with my friends. So while I was going to school, I get on the bus and see this chinese driver. Instinctively, I say “Herro” to him. I immediately start coughing and clear my throat and correct myself. Im pretty sure he knew. I take the same bus everyday and he drives it. We never spoke of that racist moment ever again.
11. When me and my best friend were younger, we accidentally threw the ball in the road and the dog went to get it and got hit by a car. The man sped off and we tossed the dead dog into a ditch near the woods and told my grandmother it ran away.
12. I was 12 years old. Sister was 10. She was taking a shower, but left the bathroom door opened. I go to close the door, but sister was not in shower. 100% naked. I closed the door and cried for 10 minutes and even googled how to erase my memory.