1. Out of 10,000 sperm …. I’m surprised you were the quickest.
2. You aren’t being the person Mr. Rodgers knew you could be.
3. I would insult you but nature did a better job.
4. Shhh, quiet now; You’re making everyone lose their brain cells.
5. If I ate a bowl of alphabet soup, I could shit out a smarter sentence than any of yours.
6. You are so painfully boring I’d rather read My Little Pony fan-fiction then continue talking to you.
7. If you were any less intelligent we’d have to water you three times a week..
8. You’re thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.
9. Look, I don’t have the time, or the crayons to explain this shit to you.
10.You’re so bad at getting insulted you’ll probably see this as a compliment!
11. You’re ten pounds of shit in a five pound sack.
12. You’re tacky and I hate you.
13. I care more about taking the rubbish bins out than I do about you.
14. You, sir, are of little worth.