1. A large catfish in the only bathtub of my Vietnamese friend’s house. He told me they fatten them and purify them for a few days before eating it by feeding it a special diet. Oh, and they showered with it.
2. Staying over at my friends house, had to pee. Couldn’t because his dad was asleep naked on the toilet.
3. I helped clean out a house going to an estate sale many years ago. The owner died. There was a working toilet in the dining room.
4. A mushroom growing in the corner of the shower, they were trying to see how big it would grow.
5. My friend in high school would be proud of his dad’s “artwork” and show everyone. The artwork: naked superheroes, schlongs and all.
6. A large Folger’s coffee can that the father pissed in, in the middle of the night.
Apparently, he doesn’t like getting out of bed to relieve himself. So he just flops his thing out from under the covers, pisses in the coffee can and goes back to sleep.
7. I was playing nintendo 64 at a friends place when I was 13, I farted and he got scared and kept a look out for his parents who were upstairs. After that, he said that I had to fart in the bathroom from now on. Never went back.
8. My wife and I were sitting down for dinner at my grandma’s house. We were all having spaghetti, g-ma’s favorite. I get a text and look down at my phone, it’s from my wife… Who is sitting across from me, and is bright red. The text reads, “turn around, there’s something in the hutch. It can’t be what I think it is.” I turn my head around, confused. And amidst all the knickknacks, statuettes, and trinkets in the hutch of her china cabinet… Is a huge…glass…dildo. I immediately turn around. Look at my wife with wide eyes, nodding. It is definitely what she thinks it is. It’s unmistakably a glass dildo. On a stand. A glass dildo, next to china plates. A glass dildo.
That’s when my grandma bursts out laughing. “Most people don’t notice it. Your wife’s got a good eye!”
9. Dildos in the dish rack.
10. I had a friend from a hippie family growing up. In their bathroom was a paper grocery bag next to the toilet and a note above it said “If it’s yellow, let it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down; toilet paper in the bag for compost, please”.
They were a clean family but the bathroom always smelled like old pee.
11. I saw my friend’s brother giving his mom a massage in the master bedroom. On the bed. Neither had their top on. The door was open a crack and I saw as I was walking to my friend’s room.This is how the conversation went later.
“Um, dude, I saw your topless brother massaging your topless mother in her bed.”
I never brought it up again.