Imagine applying for a college, going to a job interview or taking an exam. In all those situations, you expect to receive an answer, right? Whether it is good news or bad.
Now envision going to a hospital to receive lab work for a concerning health issue. You count to receive test results from your doctor. A week goes by and you realize that you have not received any updates. When you try calling, your doctor doesn’t pick up the phone or answers your emails. You are relentless to find out the results of your test, so you keep trying to get in touch with him; until you realize that most likely you won’t hear from him ever again. Your doctor has “ghosted you.”
Thankfully, in today’s society it is almost impossible to imagine a doctor “ghosting you,” but unfortunately it happens way too often in dating world.
“Ghosting” is known as having someone suddenly disappear from contact with you without providing any explanation. It can involve ignoring your texts, your calls and overall, completely ignoring your existence.
Sadly, ghosting has become a “normal” part of today’s dating culture. Rather than simply telling the person that you are no longer interested in them or the relationship, people decide to “ghost” because for them it is easier to be a coward and not deal with the situation.
For those of you who have not experienced ghosting, lucky you! I would never wish that upon anyone. It is terrible and miserable experience when someone ghosts you, especially if you have been in relationship with that person for some time. You find yourself not knowing how to react because you have no idea what happened.
I recently experienced someone “ghosting me” and let me tell you, it was absolutely horrible. I am very social person and I can easily develop long lasting, meaningful friendships. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, it is a different story. It takes a special someone for me to develop any romantic interest and grow feelings.
So when I met a guy that I immediately felt a strong connection and attraction to, I was very excited. From the very first day I was crazy about him. We shared an intense connection and passion. It was crazy how quickly we started falling for each other. I saw so much potential for a possible future together and I was assured that I wasn’t the only one. Until one day it all suddenly disappeared into a thin air without any explanation.
Ghosting leaves you powerless because you are left with no opportunity to ask questions or even express your emotions and feelings. This makes it hard for you to get any kind of closure. Ghosting is the ultimate use of the silent treatment that is emotionally cruel. You feel terrible not because you are single again, but because the person didn’t even have the decency or courage to break up with you. The disregard is insulting.
No one is forced to officially end the relationship or provide any explanation to the other person. However, it is extremely selfish and cruel to just cut off everything without any justification. The “ghoster” must have cared about the other person at some point during their relationship, so at least they should have the dignity to explain what happened, right? Anything is better than nothing.
The most important thing to remember is that when someone ghosts you, it says absolutely nothing about you and your worth, but it has everything to do with the person doing the ghosting. It shows that the person doesn’t not have the courage to deal with their emotions or they simply just don’t know how to. Also, that person doesn’t understand the impact of their behavior. Or maybe they simply don’t care.
Whatever the case is, they have sent an extremely loud message to you saying that they do not have what it takes to have a mature and healthy relationship with you. At this point, the only thing you can do is retain your dignity and sanity and let them go peacefully.
Understand that the person who ghosted you wasn’t worth you or your time and it is better that it happened sooner than later. Keep your heart open and your focus forward and the right person will come your way who will treat you with the respect that you deserve.