woman wearing cap and black coat standing near bare tree

I Still Wish We Were Together

Leaves rustled outside the window,
my silent wish for you to
not leave me.

Yet my ardent plea fell on
an unmoved heart and cold eyes
that looked past me as if
I meant nothing at all.

As you walked away,
all I wanted to do was
abandon my fragile composure
and chase after you.

All I wanted was to cling onto you tightly,
feeling as if I would never let go
and demanded you to love me back.

All I wanted was to bargain and negotiate with you,
promised you the stars and moon
as long as I could have you back.

But deep within me,
I know that your decision was set in stone
and our ending was inevitable.

Love is but a dream
and unfortunately, I have
overstayed my welcome.

Whereas I used to be the light of your life,
you have since regarded me as a burden
that you need to release
to continue with your journey.

So I swallowed all the unspoken words
and watched in agonized helplessness
as you walked away from me and
out of my life forever.

I wish I could say that I’m better off without you,
that I’m so much happier now, and this
is the best thing you could have done for me.

But the truth is that not a single day goes by
without me missing you,
without me wanting you back.

Your shadow lurks at
every corner, taunting me
of what I have lost.

In the present moment,
all I could think of
is your absence.

Since you left, I learn that
getting through a day
is excruciatingly painful.

My day used to begin
and end with you.

Now every sunrise and sunset
reminded me of another day that
I have to go on without you.

I guess I could eventually get used
to a life without you
but I do not want to.

I write about falling in love and out of love.

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