I am slowly learning to put myself first and listen to my own instincts because ultimately, only I know what is good for me.
That even as my voice quivers, as the tears well up in my eyes, and as my fear screams loudly in my ears, I am still going to speak my truth. I am not going to cower in fright and give in to the easier option. I won’t compromise on my needs for another.
I have learned that adulting is hard. It doesn’t matter what age I am, there will be some instances in my life when I find myself standing at the crossroads not knowing which way to turn. Contrary to popular belief, nobody has it all figured it out. It’s okay to be lost, frustrated, and dissatisfied as long as you allow it to be a motivating push to seek something greater and more suitable for you.
I have been stuck at this chapter in my life for a while now and longing to start a new chapter yet too consumed by my self-doubt and uncertainty to take the next step. I have always believed that by giving my all, I would eventually get to where I want. Every success story starts from scratch and comes from trying times. That I can’t just quit even when that is all I want to do.
But I am also slowly accepting that there comes a point when I must learn to let go. By giving up on what’s not meant to be, I am making space for something better.
No matter how reluctant I am to say goodbye to my old life, I couldn’t ignore how I was outgrowing it. I was no longer happy and living in a toxic environment that is detrimental to my mental health. This temporary setback is not going to last. I promise to give myself time to figure out my next move. I will affirm my decision that I’m doing the right thing and my happiness is my priority. I will be there for myself every step of the way and I will have my own back.
I am slowly learning to trust my feelings and do what is right for me.
Ultimately at the end of the day, I know what I have to do. I have the choice to believe in myself and my instincts to make the decisions that are best suited for me. It’s not easy to step out of my comfort zone and overcome the struggles, frustrations, and hurdles that come with it. But the alternative of staying stuck in the rut with no possibility of progression isn’t a solution.
And slowly, I am learning that giving up doesn’t always mean I’m weak and there is greater strength in letting go than staying stuck in the situation.
Any decision that is made based on fear, doubt, and negativity will only lead to more pain and suffering. By trusting in myself, I am actively doing something to change my situation and reduce my suffering. And yes, there will be times I will question and wonder if I made the right decision but I know I won’t regret it.
To carve out a new beginning of hope, faith, and happiness, I must have the courage to end the story of yesterday. I must not look back because the past doesn’t define me, it’s what I do in the present that does. I must have the courage to walk away from what is not meant to be so that I can materialize my wildest dreams of attaining what I truly want. Come what may, I’m ready to face my challenges head-on and overcome all that is standing my way.
Because I know, I deserve better. I deserve the best and it’s time I start believing that.