How To Ruin Your Chance At Finding Love

woman sitting alone in bedroom
God & Man

You ruin your chance at love by believing that you aren’t worthy of love.

You put yourself out there, you mingle with new people, and you say and do all the right thing. You’re polished, a great conversationalist, and there is an aura of confidence around you. Yet deep within you, you don’t think you can truly find your own happiness. You’re convinced that due to your past or your luck, it’s close to impossible to find someone for you. You’re scared that at your age, love still continues to remain out of reach for you.

You ruin love by allowing yourself to be desensitized and partaking in the games of modern dating. After a while, you learn that the best way of not getting hurt is to guard your heart and hide your feelings. You learn that dating is a number game and it is best to have many options than to risk being an option. You learn to decipher meanings and intentions behind text messages and body languages than to ask directly what they mean. You learn to prefer games and facades to honesty and authenticity as the stakes are getting higher, and this is a hand you cannot afford to lose.

It may feel that time is passing you with everyone coupled up except you. It may feel that you’re getting older while you’re no closer to finding your special person. It may feel that time is running out and you’re losing patience.

But whatever your situation is, don’t fret for love will find you regardless of what age you are or the experiences you went through. There is no fixed timeline to adhere to and you should believe that you’re right where you should be.

You ruin your chance of being with your true love by settling with someone undeserving of your big generous heart. 

The love that you settle for is one that has never feel right to you. There is this constant nagging voice at the back of your mind warning you if you care enough to listen, that there must be something more than what you currently have. There is the aching feeling in your heart that love shouldn’t have to be this difficult. There is this sick pit in your stomach when you feel that you’re in a wrong story yet the thought of changing is unthinkable.

Love should never have to feel as an afterthought, an obligation, or a burden that you have to carry. You shouldn’t have to be with someone because the alternative of being alone is scarier. You shouldn’t have to put up with toxic behaviors that are hampering your growth and obstructing your joy. You shouldn’t have to fight for someone’s love when mutual effort is required in a relationship.

Don’t allow anyone to dull the sparkle in your eyes and restrain your overflowing emotions. Don’t let society dictate that you need to hit a certain milestone by your age. Don’t ignore your own feeling and think this is the best you can get.

For you’re settling for a piece of someone when you could have a wholehearted love. You’re settling to be an option when you could be someone’s priority. You’re settling for merely a companionship when you deserve to be with your soulmate.

Because one day you know, you’ll meet someone who is exactly who you’re searching for. You’ll click with them instantly and conversation will flow endlessly. You’ll finally find the love that you have been patiently waiting for with the one that has never been surer of you. You’ll be touched by how their sturdy efforts towards keeping your relationship alive never waver. You’ll be moved to tears of how they have no intention of ever leaving you even when dark storms mounted against you both.

You’ll be glad that you have never settled with anyone because this love that you’ll have eventually is one that you’ll never trade it for anything else in the world. TC mark

Liane White

I write about falling in love and out of love.

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