To the one who broke my heart when I was too busy building yours, thank you for teaching me the importance of myself.
Thank you for lifting me up to cloud nine and pushing me down to ground zero. Thank you for taking all the love I gave you for granted and crushing my heart. Thank you for showing me how little I meant to you not once or twice, but the whole time.
The reality has never been so blatantly obvious, yet I was too blinded by my feeling to see. I was too immersed in my grief to pull myself out of the situation. I was too desperate to make us work that I lose sight of everything else.
I was too lost at the thought of losing you that I conveniently ignored how you weren’t even mine to lose.
How I loved you, you would never know. I would have painted the sky a crimson shade to pledge my undying love for you just so I could steal a glance from you. I would be all too willing to ignore the voice in my head to run each time you tested my limit and drove me to the point of regret. I would have abandoned all that I believed in and waited for you until you said, ‘yes.’
To the one who left me after promising me forever, thank you for being the turning point of my life.
Thank you for the cold terror and sickened helplessness that spread through my whole body when you wanted to break things off with me. I had no idea or any warning signs that we would crash and burn. Foolish me always thought we would collide together in a beautiful explosion.
Thank you for showing me how easily replaceable and disposable I was. Thank you for moving on from me so effortlessly. Thank you for forgetting me so cleanly and erasing me completely from your memory. Thank you for cutting me off and ridding yourself of any traces of me.
If you hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t have to pluck up my courage to confess my feelings for you and bite back hot, bitter tears at your cruel rejection. I wouldn’t have to rip out my heart from my chest to show you the depth of my love while you continued to look at me unmoved. I wouldn’t have to fight so hard for you to stay and have everything I wanted tumble and crash in on me.
All my life, I have put myself last and constantly thought of others. I have never hesitated to jump at the chance to help you at the expense of myself. I think the world of you, and yet you were hesitant to share your world with me. I had given you the best of me, yet you refused to be who I need you to be.
To the one who couldn’t love me the way I deserved, thank you for letting me go.
Thank you for making me feel inadequate when you refused to reciprocate my feelings. Thank you for making me feel that love is conditional and I have to earn my worth to be with you. Thank you for making me feel the need to change myself for you to accept me.
For it was in your rejection of me that I <a href=”https://thoughtcatalog.com/paolo-enrico-cruz/2016/12/thank-you-for-letting-me-go-because-my-life-is-so-much-better-without-you/”?grew. It was in the heartbreak that I found myself. It was in the depth of despair that I started to heal my broken heart.
It is because you let me go that I could set myself free from this turmoil and never-ending nightmare. It is because you told me in no uncertain term that there is no us that made me grasp any remaining sanity I have left to move on from the painful past. It is because you left me so utterly shattered that all I could do is focus on picking up the pieces and holding myself from completely falling apart.
It is because you couldn’t love me, I decided to pour all the overflowing love in my veins into loving myself.
It is because you broke me, I have to pull myself from rock bottom and build myself up never once giving up. I have grown stronger and more resilient. I have become wiser and happier. I have done what I thought I couldn’t- being content with where I am without you by my side.
And for all that, I have you to thank.