This Is How I’ll Get Over My Almost Relationship With You

Kimson Doan

I’ll tell myself I’m worth more than your almost.

You almost loved me. You almost want to be with me. You almost got together with me. Now those promises mean nothing to me, as they always did to you. For at the end of the day, I need something concrete. I need someone to be here with me. I need more than an almost.

Contrary to what you think, I will get tired. I may show you how cool and chill I am, but I’m only human. I’m not noble or self-sacrificing. Your happiness does not equate to mine. I don’t have all the time in the world to wait for you, nor do I want to. My life doesn’t revolve around you.

I’m tired of waiting for someone to feel the same way about me as I do. My love isn’t being reciprocated. I’m disillusioned about love after how you’ve tainted it with your every action and lack of. As I sit here mulling over what you said and wondering what was it about you that made me break my own heart for the thousandth time, I realize I deserve better than this.

I deserve someone who is absolutely and completely in love with me. Who shows me that being with me is everything he wants. Who shows me every chance and opportunity how precious I am to him. Who dedicates everyday of his life to love me deeper and stronger.

To get over you, I have to stop idealizing you or what we could have been.

I realize now that I’m more in love with the idea of you and what we could have been than the person you are. For as harsh as it is for me to admit, I have no idea who you are.

I don’t know the person you are outside your brief replies that you drop me when it pleases you. I’m unaware which other girls you are talking or have caught your fancy because it sure feels that I’m one of your many options. I have totally no clue the person you are or what makes you feel alive.

All you ever tell me are generic things that you tell everyone. All you give me are promises build upon lies and illusions. All you bring me are bitter tears and heart-wrecking pain.

I guess I have reached the stage of acceptance that no matter how hard I try, I cannot force you to feel emotions that you do not feel. I cannot try to love you when that’s the last thing you feel. I cannot get together with you when you’ll never be ready.

Instead, I will remind myself everyday that I don’t need you. That I am loved despite you and not because of you. That my life is bigger than whether you love me or love me not.

To move on from you, I’ll comfort myself that some people come into our lives for a lesson. And you are that lesson.

You came into my life to teach me how to let go. Let go of my stubborn persistence so that I can move on from you. Let go of the need to control my emotions and accept myself for the amazing person I am. Let go of the memories—good and bad and understand that I should let the past stay the past so that I can be content in the present moment.

Let go of all the almost love so that I can have something so genuine, real, and true.

You came into my life for a reason and now, I’m ready to let you go.

I’m ready to be happy and to accept the love that I deserve. I’m ready for the rest of my life to begin. I’m ready to be who I am meant to be.

I’m ready to start a brand new life without you. TC mark

Liane White

I write about falling in love and out of love.

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