I know right now being single feels like the worst possible thing that could happen to you.
You may have just gotten out of a relationship recently, and suddenly, you feel like you have lost your direction in life. Where you used to meet him so frequently and talk to him every day, now you feel overwhelmingly hollow facing your empty days alone. Where he used to make a home in your heart and make you incredibly happy, now you feel like an abandoned house, vacant and desolated.
Or you may have been single your whole life and you start to wonder if there is something wrong with you. You find all your friends getting attached and you feel as through you’ve been left behind. You feel yourself getting older and you are nowhere near finding your ‘forever person’. You see happy couples everywhere and you doubt if your turn will come. You want to give dating a try, but you feel intimidated and out of place in the modern dating scene.
Either way, it is perfectly normal to feel this way.
You just want someone to be there to share your joy. You just want to experience love—true and genuine. You just want someone to make your world shine a little brighter, make you smile a little bigger and make you believe a little more in those cliché love stories.
You just want to love and be loved.
That is not to say you don’t have anything going for you. Because you do.
You have a fulfilling life. You have a close-knit circle of family and friends who would do anything for you. You are driven and resourceful, constantly going after your dreams and you refuse to stay still.
You are a go-getter who wants to take charge of your own happiness instead of waiting for things to happen. You are resilient and willing to go to great lengths to achieve what you want, and you are a fighter who never gives up.
And that is very admirable of you.
However what you must know is that love is one thing in the world that you cannot try too hard for.
The more obsessively you try to seek it, the more it eludes you. The more addictive you are to the chase, the more you are left wanting. The more incomplete you feel, the more you will always be trying to fill the hole in your heart to no avail.
Because true and honest love requires effort from both people. To communicate with each other. To choose to be with one another. To overcome obstacles together. To make the conscious decision to love even when it is easier to walk away.
If someone makes you feel you are trying too hard, then by all means, stop trying.
Don’t forget you are already loved in the midst of waiting for love. Don’t lose yourself in the midst of finding someone. Don’t look for someone to complete you when you are already whole by yourself.
You are beautiful without another person’s validation of your beauty. You are strong without having to demonstrate your strength to anyone. You are enough without someone by your side to prove your worth.
You may not see it now, but one day you will look back to this period of your life and you will realize that being single was the best thing that happened to you.
This is the best time to find yourself, re-evaluate your life, decide what you want in a relationship, and be you.
Be unapologetically you. Do the things that stir your heart and soul. Chase after the dreams that set your heart on fire. Make memories of the lifetime with your best friends and the people closest to you. Leap before you think and fall hard. Make mistakes and learn and laugh at them.
Love with everything you have.
Be single and embrace your solitude. Learn to listen to your own voice and follow your heart. Ignore the negativity and criticism and know that you have no one to answer to but yourself. Be your own heroine and carve out your own path. Fall in love with yourself and make yourself blissfully happy.
Because while there is always the possibility you’ll lose the love of your life, you can never lose the love you have for yourself.