I have come into a stage of my life when I’m content to just be. I’m no longer fixated with a certain outcome in my mind or to achieve a significant milestone. I’m not obsessed with the result and I’m content with being a work of progress. I’m fine with going with the flow. I’ve grown accepting of my present.
And trust me, I’m someone who overthinks constantly.
The sun is radiating so much warmth, yet before, all I could think about was the impending storm and whether I was strong enough to survive through. You were holding my hand firmly but all I could feel is cold terror within me was how you let me go with no remorse. Your tender words of confession became chilling words that haunted me with threats of a love with an expiration date.
I am young and with promises of a bright future ahead, yet all I could think of was your broken promises and how bleak my future was without you. My life, despite all its flaws, is fine. But you were not around so all I could see was a world devoid of colors and happiness.
I was loved, but because it wasn’t by you, I was unable to appreciate it, or want to.
I am a whole and complete individual by myself but when I thought of you, I was only reminded by how you left my heart in shreds. And any attempt to touch the sharp shreds or to mend them only left my hands in blood.
Now, when I wake up, I am content to just be.
There is a strange liberation in solitude and leading your own life.
The emotions and thoughts of others no longer suffocate me. I finally get to breathe and draw calm, collected inhales and exhales feeling a deep sense of elusive peace inside me.
The voice of another no longer drowns mine and I get to develop my point of view. I get to make my stand firmly. I get to be heard.
The wrong and repressive love that I felt previously has been lifted from my chest. I feel as light as feather as my feet draw themselves into a tiny dance. I feel unmarked with a beginning as a newborn.
The void that you left in my heart has been filled when I became determined to love myself fiercely and passionately.
I started to appreciate what I could do for myself. I started to love what you deemed unlovable of me.
When I let you go and accepted what I could not change, when I stopped trying to resist reality and wanting to mold it to what could have been; when I released this burden for both of us, I finally attain this peace that I have been seeking for the longest time.
I become happier now than you could have ever made me.