So it’s finally December, the year is almost over and Christmas is upon us. But frankly, and pardon my language, this year was totally fucked.
Politics and celebrity deaths are a given tragedy, but I’m talking personally. Horrid. I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one either, after all, we all have at least one (or a few) horrific years that left us in a pit of dismay. So what do we do when it’s over? Sigh a breath of relief? Get rat-ass drunk and make terrible life decisions tarring the year even further?
Not so much. Well, maybe a little one too many sambuca shots, but not totally.
Whether you were lucky enough, like myself, to turn it all around in the last few months, or whether that black cloud and trail of unfortunate events are still following you right up until your mulled wine soaked foray into 2019, here is a quick emotional checklist for your farewell to 2018.
Firstly, are you still alive and breathing?
Oh stop it, you’re reading this article so you must be. Whether your answer was “I’m dead inside” or something a little more accepting of the idea that your heart beating is a good thing, ask yourself that again. Don’t get me wrong, follow my blog, read my book, read my articles on here and you’ll know that I am no stranger to pessimistic depression and anxiety. In fact, we’re practically best friend’s at this point, (not you, best friend, you’re not quite the human embodiment of my mental health). Knowing this, you will hopefully read this with love, and know that when I say you have to ease your soul from your own stubbornness in order to live, it is from a place of understanding.
Being stubborn is not the definition of mental health, but it is a side effect that prolongs its hold on you. The first step then, in waving goodbye to the last 12 messy months, is to sit up and feel your beating heart. You survived another year. 365 days when December finishes (even more if you’re still reading this after). That’s not bloody easy when something’s eating your heart and brain alive constantly. Well done, friend.
Secondly, say goodbye.
No, really. Make a point of it and say goodbye to the year, to the friends that left you at your worst, to the partners that broke up with you or cheated, to the feeling of disrepair when you left uni and had to slum it at a job you hate. Say goodbye to all of it. See ya later, auf wiedersehen, fuck off. Understand that it happened, note it, and then slowly let it fall from the million things attached to your brain. YOU DON’T NEED IT. Guess what? It’s literally a new year soon, we’ll all be writing 8’s and meaning 9’s, and politics will … Well, no politics will probably get much worse, but YOU don’t have to.
Finally, make the right resolutions.
Everyone makes the first three resolutions: I’m going to stop eating meat for a month, I’m going to lose weight and join the gym and I’m going to focus on myself.
Right, well some people become vegetarians (hi, it me) and some become vegans, but most of you lot last a day and scream that bacon is too good. Then the gym is just a laughable goal that only some manage to achieve (don’t give up). THEN you have the self-love. Some people start, some people try, but no-one breaks it down. MAKE THESE YOUR RESOLUTIONS. Forget the gym, forget meat (I mean, come back to it because save the animals and that but still) and make your resolutions branches off the tree of self-love (I just puked at my own line, sorry guys but it’s true).
To conclude then, here are my 5 self-love resolutions for 2019, in the hopes that you might follow suit:
1. Have more baths without my phone, just chill without distraction and soak in the bubbly goodness.
2. Do more with friends. Always. Appreciate what you have.
3. Write at least one poem to myself every month, published or not.
4. Audit my life every now and again. Sounds so formal but seriously audit the poison out, autonomy is a bish.
5. Approach my head with a bit of dry humor (case in point, this article.) If you can poke a little fun at the one thing that grapples you, you loosen its grip