I had mixed feelings when I tried to write this letter about you. All I want to say is, “Fuck you,” even though I know that you were someone that I loved before. We had a lot of good times together and we had a very good connection in the beginning. As the time went by, my heart chose to love you but you chose to break it. I loved you. I loved you very much. You made me weak but then I’ve become stronger than before.
I was such a good girlfriend to you, but for you that was far from enough. I spent so much time, effort, and money on you, but you didn’t seem appreciate me at all. Sometimes, I feel stupid for allowing myself to stay with you even though you hurt me for so many times by being verbally and emotionally abusive. I was too comfortable and I was in love with the idea of being in love.
It was easy for you to say sorry for every mistake you did. Unfortunately, it was even easier for me to forgive you. And stupid me, I always believed that you really meant it. To me, sorry was the word that kept me choosing you over your mistakes. But now I realized that sorry is only a word that you used as a reflex without looking beyond the word itself.
And boy, sorry doesn’t change the way I see you now, it doesn’t put you back in the situation where I thought you were the best thing I’d ever had. It doesn’t make me believe you anymore even though you said “I love you” after everything you’ve done. Sorry doesn’t save me from the nightmares you created in my world.
Things were not always bad between us indeed. I’m not sure when the things started going south, but it’s hard to remember when all the times you made me smile because I can only remember the times you made me cry and made me feel like I was never enough for you. I do not wish you to go through the same misery as I have because I know you are not strong enough for this.
However, I will thank you. Thank you for making me realize that I deserve so much better than you and what we had.