You’re in a room surrounded by those tied to you by blood,
You’re not physically alone,
But you are, in fact, alone.
Because it’s “them vs. you”,
It’s always been that way.
And their ears pick up the sound,
Their brains process the words,
But they don’t truly hear.
So you speak louder this time,
And they mistake you wanting to be heard, wanting to be understood, wanting to be loved, for being rude.
And when you leave the room, there’s a whole lot of,
“She always overreacts.”
You don’t belong here.
And on days like today it hurts so badly that you wish you weren’t even born,
You wish you were dead,
Because you look around the room and realize that no one would care if you weren’t there.
There’s smiles and laughter and holiday cheer,
But if you weren’t there, that would still remain.
You honor the sheer sadness, guilt and pain these realizations bring,
And you feel it,
Because it’s healthy to feel emotions.
Even though they tell you to bottle it up,
Even though they tell you to stop overreacting.
Though this is not okay,
Though none of this will ever be okay,
You’re learning that you will be okay.
So you’re the odd one out today.
You’re not going to be,
Because you are beginning to see that “family” is made up of people who love, respect and understand you,
And is something you can build yourself.
“Family” can simply mean a bond of friendship, support and love – “Family” is your people,
Not the people who are tied to you by blood –
Not if they mistreat, ignore or make no effort to understand you.
“Family” only ends when you lose hope,
So don’t lose hope.
And don’t try to force puzzle pieces together that are from entirely different puzzles.
Be brave as you allow the pieces to fall into place,
With hearts that may not bleed the same,
But that do beat the same.
You may not belong here,
But you do belong.