Why I Am A Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

I shouldn’t be shocked by how I just can’t seem to keep it together when someone breaks up with me. You know that Miranda Lambert song “Mama’s Broken Heart”? It says, “go and fix your makeup, girl, it’s just a breakup.” I envy the girls who aren’t crying too hard to fix their makeup.

In hindsight, I should’ve known this was my propensity. It traces back to when I couldn’t quite let go of my Ken doll back when I was six. My mom had offered to get me a new one in exchange for giving him to my little sister. But he was MINE. We had so many good times together!

I had to pull my punishment bear due to bad behavior after my kindergarten “boyfriend” kissed another girl on the cheek on the playground. Even then, I was prone to acting out when things went south for me relationship-wise.

In reality, everyone mourns after a breakup (under most circumstances, unless your ex killed your beloved cat or something), but what makes the mourning turn into more than a Taylor Swift binge and rewearing your sweatpants a few times?

I think some people, myself included, just have a harder time to letting go of things in general. With my last ex I did the horrible still-hooking-up-and-talking thing for a YEAR because I couldn’t accept that it was really over. Sure, you get the advantage of still seeing this person, but at a huge cost. Most likely both people see the relationship differently and one person (I’m talking to you, holder-onner) gets hurt again. Even worse, by holding onto this relation-shit you are closing your eyes to potential actual relationships.

In the future, it might be best to force yourself to mourn for a set amount of time (no more than a month) and then “go and fix your makeup, girl, it’s just a breakup.”