What is the point of all of this if you can’t even connect.
“Nothing in the world stands by itself. Every object is a link in an endless chain and is thus connected with all the other links. And this chain of the universe has never been broken; it unites all objects and processes in a single whole and thus has a universal character. We cannot move so much as our little finger without “disturbing” the whole universe. The life of the universe, its history lies in an infinite web of connections.”
It doesn’t matter if you are living in a mansion with fancy cars and a swimming pool, or living in a cardboard box, if you do not know how to connect to another human being than you will never know what it is like to live.
To live free from fear, regret, disappointment, hurt, resentment, and anger.
I have a diverse group of friends, unhappy millionaires and unhappy individuals who are on a government aid. The common theme around this is the deep-rooted connections they do not have.
I am not talking about having someone’s phone number, knowing their name, where they work or even knowing what trips they have been on.
What I am talking about is much deeper.
Think right now for a minute and ask yourself, do you know what your parents think and feel about the actions they are taking right now? The job they work at, what they think about each other, what makes them happy, what they think about you?
Remember, this exercise is not assuming what they think, know or feel, but having the courage to ask them.
I am the first to admit that I don’t know many people in my life. Even the one’s who are closest to me.
This is real, I am not saying this so you can feel bad for me, I am saying this because it’s time to wake up.
It’s never too late to find out who the people are in your life. Not their occupation, but who they are as a human being.
The fear of getting to know someone is real in a sense that people keep a distant relationship not to get hurt, or to feel like they are taking on other people’s problems.
You have issues, and so do I, taking a stand for others and realizing that it isn’t right to be closed off and not being able to freely express yourself is disempowering.
People aren’t things, yet you treat them as such. You use people for what they can do for you, and you expect everything to work out.
The current way of being isn’t creating connections. Talking about the weather isn’t connecting. Asking what the person had for lunch isn’t connecting.
You run stories about how unimportant it is to talk about important things, the reality is people long to talk about what’s important for them if you would just give yourself time to really listen.
And I mean really listen. Be present to what is being said and not the story that you are running in your head about what is being said.
When I talk to people, while they talk, the little voice in my head talks. I am the judge and jury of that conversation and that person.
As soon as someone says something I don’t like, immediately I go on the defensive and that little voice in my head says; “I told you so”.
Later, I would regret what I have done or said and wished it was done differently. Only to ignore and reject the fact that things can be different.
I can’t change the past, nor would I ever want to. You shouldn’t try to either.
The future, the future, however, is there to be created. Not completing with the past and ignoring that heavy boulder that lays on your shoulders will only make those problems, fears, and regrets more real.
Busy is often the excuse thrown around like a cheap rag. “I don’t have the time to do x, or I am too busy for y”. How about taking the time to be alive?
Can you find time for that?
Put away the things that are self-serving for 1 hour a day and meet with a person who you know you don’t know.
Spend an hour with them, look them in the eyes, talk to them and express to them what is really going on in your life.
Express interest in their life.
We all have problems, that’s life, but you don’t have to live this way.
Easy enough to say, put your fear and forget everything that happened in the past. But you must see how absurd it is to stare at the present and say to yourself that the past is here now, in the present.
Go ahead, I invite you to just be. Right now, as your reading this, is the past here? Did that person who hurt you, is here right now in this sentence as your reading it?
It’s what happened, the question is, is it happening right now? Right at this very moment, and the next moment, and the next?
Oh, wait let me guess since this person has hurt you in the past, they are going to hurt you again in the future. I completely forgot, you’re a fortune teller and you know it all.
“Be the change, you wish to see in the world.” — Mahatma Gandhi
You want others to change, well you have to be the person who steps forward, the one who doesn’t carry forward the baggage from the past, and creates a future of possibilities. A future of real connection with another individual.
I’ll leave it at that because we have much more work to do on this. I just want you to consider that the way you have been living life, isn’t living it at all.