I was walking down the street feeling stunningly empty. No thoughts were rushing through my forever busy mind. No feelings were attached. I felt nothing at all. The kids were laughing loudly in the park chasing each other; it was sunny and warm. The spring was in its full swing and I could feel all the smells of blooming pink trees and flowers feeling my nostrils with each desperately taken breath. I was breathing it all in… and yet I felt – nothing. Aliveness and its delicious electricity that used to run all through my veins and every cell of my being seized to show up! I was walking down the street feeling a bit lost and out of place. It was crowded, like never before, and yet I felt lovely. I felt isolated.
Alone with myself. “What time is now” – Some stranger asked passing by. “It’s time to live (out loud)… “ – I responded. He raised his eyebrows in mere disbelief and then kept on walking probably thinking I was a manic street preacher about to jump into a meaningful conversation… a meaningful conversation – something that often times seems to be so out of place these days…… these days – when it’s “best” to keep yourself under cover of perpetual gladness filtered beyond recognition in one of those apps we tend to be so fond of… to share our daily lives, where in fact, we share nothing at all…. nothing at all. How can I live my own life out loud turning into a legend when I don’t even feel alive? How could I be a guide, a mentor to so many people reaching out to me, trying to follow my vision, when am lost and not even sure when am going?
“Follow your bliss”, “Follow your heart” – I see so many posters like that almost every minute knocking on heavens doors, rushing through, trying to get to us via notifications on our locked screens… getting throughout locked hearts… knocking on our windows at night when we lie awake in bed forgetting what it’s like to find peace and have a good night sleep. Follow your bliss? What does it even mean? Where do you find bliss when you can’t even bear the thought of getting out of bed in the morning?! Is this a joke – you reckon?
Have you ever felt irrelevant? Now matter the past and circumstances that are swirling around you right now – have you ever felt THAT? How do you validate your relevance? Who’s there to judge? The truth is, no matter how worthless I feel, no matter how worthless you feel too, we were placed here for a damn good reason. A good reason. Think about it for a second. Tell your shitty thoughts that tell you otherwise to shut the fuck up. Think about your relevance. Think about the lives that you’ve touched. Think about the conversations you had that might have been life turning to the others that had a privilege to hear you speak out loud… think about the courage you have that sparked up that beautiful gift you came here to share… What is it? THAT’S what makes you relevant. The lives that you touch of simply being THERE. Being present in the moment, listening, giving your time, listening patiently, encouraging, participating…. being. There. Right now. The NOW is the only thing that we share and is the only thing that we truly have in common, no matter the pasts and the backgrounds we all came from.
Think of the now. Think deeply. What makes YOU come alive? What brings your life that extra kick of spice that makes you bolt right out of your bed each morning anticipating to seize the new day? What is your passion? Look no further – just look deeper inwards, in your heart. Touch it, feel it beating… then share… when you are ready.