When you’re in a relationship, it’s of paramount importance that you take a moment to breathe, a moment to observe your surroundings and your circumstances, taking into special consideration the people you have in your life and how they impact your emotions. You’ll thank yourself for participating in these thought patterns, as it puts everything into perspective and helps your feet remain on the ground. By going through these motions you’ll be reminded that the boy you’re dating is not your whole world, merely a valuable component of the life you have built for yourself.
The notion of love is difficult to comprehend, because no one person has the same experience as the next, but I think it’s safe to say that it makes us a little blind, especially in the beginning, during the honeymoon stage. This stage can be a monumental learning curve for those in committed relationships. Some succeed in evenly slotting in time for family, friends, work, and significant others. Some are not so lucky.
I was unsuccessful in the intricate time management that’s involved in maintaining relationships with my friends, who are some of the most valuable people in my life. My boyfriend became my entire world, and what a mistake that was. The moment I made him the center of my universe was the moment that I began to lose everything, all the components that made me who I am.
Because he was my entire world, I missed the very important details that were going on around me. My best friend was going through a tough time, she needed me, tried to reach out to me, and I wasn’t there. Another dear friend was slowly killing herself after developing Bulimia. Sitting in my room over the other side of our small town I had a hunch, but I didn’t pick up the phone or get in my car to go and see her, all because my boyfriend was the only thing I saw. I was naïve.
When my relationship ceased to exist, by extension, I felt like my whole world ceased to exist with it. I was a shadow of the girl I used to be, once strong-minded and feisty, morphed into a girl who was gaunt and frail, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Not only had I lost my friends, but I had also lost nearly every essence of myself as a person.
When my head started to clear after the dust of my imploded relationship settled, I realized that it wasn’t possible for two people to be the one; instead they are two separate entities that work together towards a common goal. I apologized to my friends for my foolishness and neglect of the past. They just smiled and enveloped me in their arms. They’re kind people, the most valuable components of my life along with my family and I will never take that for granted or let that go again.
Looking back, I realized that the person I considered my entire world wasn’t kind to me, didn’t treat me with the respect I deserved and didn’t love me like I was meant to be loved. I didn’t take a deep breath and contemplate my surroundings when I should have and I didn’t have my feet on the ground. Every day I remember that I am the center of my universe, just like you are the center of yours. No matter how special your significant other is, they are not your world, merely a component of it.