The Ugly Truth About Trying To Get Back Together With An Ex

woman in brown turtleneck sleeveless top lying on man's stomach wearing green button-up collared shirt holding disco ball
Julian Howard / Unsplash

The idea of dating someone who already knows you like the back of their hand, who has already heard your life story, and who can undoubtedly put up with you for a given period of time sounds like the equivalent of heaven’s gates opening and trumpets playing a sweet song.

Just…not when that someone is your ex. 

The sad truth is that no good story ever comes from getting back together with someone you previously dated. If you know a good story, please send it my way, I would absolutely love to be proven wrong. 

You see, once you date someone and really get to know them, you get to decide whether or not you “love” them.*

(*We’ll touch on that again later on. In the ideal situation, both parties involved would ”love” one another, but quite frankly, that’s not the case anymore. )

Try as you might, but if it isn’t ”love,” the relationship will end. And if you’re not smart enough, you’ll find yourself being drawn back into it again later on.

Here’s the bitter, ugly truth about trying to be with your ex again: 

1. You will never feel the way that you felt in the beginning stages of the relationship.

2. They can easily paint a pretty picture for you when you’re in the talking stage because they aren’t seeing you often. Things change when you’re seeing each other 24/7 again.

3. The same reason you broke up in the past will probably resurface again.

4. One of you may decide to change yourself/your goals/your lifestyle/your dreams to be with the other, and that will result in a miserable relationship long term.

5. You will live and repeat the same cycle of the last time you were together, until you finally decide you’ve had enough.

As I previously mentioned, dating your ex may seem like an easy, sweet thing to do. But before you do that, you should consider the outcome. Considering that life is meant to move forward, moving backwards doesn’t seem like so much of a smart move.

I told you we’d get back to this later: 

Love is not when someone tries to control you.

Love is not when someone tries to own you.

Love is not when someone has to change to be what you want.

Love is not when someone comes back into your life after time away, they would have stayed if it was love.

Love is not when someone only does what they want to do.

Love is not when someone lets you believe you’re nothing more than a terrible person.

Take it from me, someone who went back to her ex for five years. Take it from others, who have had the same experience. Don’t let lingering emotions fool you into thinking things will be any different once you go back. TC mark

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