Ever been here?
I’m talking about that place where you’ve said, with hands thrown up in the air in exasperation, “Okay, God. I trust you with this part of my life too.”
And you know what part of life to which this statement is referring, don’t you? Yes, that’s right. Your dating life. Your love life. Your romantic life. Your romantic love life. Whatever kids call it these days.
If you haven’t been here, then join me as I recount my experience being in this exact spot.
Because it’s one thing to say, “God, I trust you.” It’s another thing entirely to actually trust Him.
I’ve been there. I am there. And you can bet that more often than not, I find myself itching to grab that pen right out of His hands so I can write my own story.
I seem to believe that I could write a much better story. I’d add a few paragraphs here. Omit a sentence or two, or nineteen there. Use some whiteout and re-write a chapter or two. I think I’d make for a pretty good author of my own love life. Right?
Honestly, at anytime I could – and believe me, I’ve tried – change the story on my own. Simply grab that ballpoint pen, press down and smile as the ink dried on what would probably turn into the worst love story ever. I like to think I’m pretty good with words. I could make things sound really nice on paper.
He’s 6’7″. Loves Jesus, obviously. Has like, 2 dogs. Loves traveling and has a degree, good credit, an impressive, yet also socially conscious job, can cook and… Need I continue?
It all looks great – no, perfect…on paper.
Which is exactly why I hope I never get ahold of that pen.
I think of J.K. Rowling’s masterpiece of a series that is Harry Potter. Her work is magical. It’s amazing and mesmerizing and just, plain good. From beginning to end, the series had a goal, even if she didn’t realize it at the start. She still had a semblance of the goal in mind as she wrote. Her characters were strategically placed in the storyline at the proper time, in the proper places. Trials and conflicts were effectively set up in order to spur character development and growth. Plot twists were ingeniously sprinkled throughout the series to capture the readers’ attention and draw them in deeper.
Nothing she wrote in that series was unintentional. Every decision a character made, every thought they mustered up and action they took, had a reason behind it. Every ‘potentially problematic’ situation that Harry, Ron and Hermoine faced, was another stepping stone, leading them closer to becoming the victors of the story.
That’s how I hope my story is being penned. More specifically, that’s how I hope my romantic love story – whatever it looks like – is being penned.
God the Author, is intentional. Every pen stroke, confident and moving towards the ultimate goal.
As an author, it’s important to know where you’re going with your story. What things need to happen to get you there. And most importantly, why you’re going where you’re going in the first place. Again, intent.
You see, I’m not exactly what you’d call patient, at least not by nature. Okay, I’m just really not good at waiting! And because of this, on more than one occasion, I’ve tried writing my own romantic love story. It wasn’t pretty. There was a lot of confusion, chaos and ultimately a few tears shed by characters who were merely casualties of my destructive authorship.
It was with a bruised heart and a downcast spirit that I reluctantly handed Him back the pen. I didn’t know if I completely trusted Him with my story just yet – after all, it was very precious to me.
But there was no way I trusted it with myself either.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it one million times more, I’m sure: The hope and the truth that I choose to cling to is, even though it’s hard to wait and see the bigger picture, I’d rather leave it all in the hands of the One who knows me, loves me and protects me the best.
Even though I enjoy writing fictional, romantic stories of my own design, my real romantic love story is much more precious. And to be completely honest, try as I might, I just don’t think I’d get it right.
Thankfully, I don’t have to.
If you’re here, reading this, and you relate to this in some way or another, take heart. God’s not finished with you yet. Trust in His timing. Seek His will and ask for His wisdom in ALL – again for those in the back, ALL – things. He will give it to you, and generously (James 1:5).