Latest Posts

You’ll Never Be Able To Pull Yourself Together

At some point, preferably in the evening when the desolation of night presses down on you — cars and the implacable noises of distant strangers, leftover smells of other people’s meals, the artificial tide of faraway cars ebbing and sighing — you will look around your place or residence and realize, dimly, that you’ll never be able to pull yourself together.

Things You ‘Cannot’ Do

You can’t tell someone that you perused their Facebook profile, even though their profile was not private, i.e. clearly perfectly available to be perused by those curious about them [caveat: they’re dumb at the internet and don’t realize everyone can see everything they don’t designate behind privacy settings]…

Hurricane Thoughts For Disaster Fetishists

Maybe we’re laughing about how are we going to get necessities like Bloody Mary drinks this weekend to veil, a little bit, our anxiety about what would we do if anything really bad happened. And do we know how to make those life or death calculations, and would we mean something a little bit more than we do if we had to?

Things I’m Thinking About As I’m On The Verge Of Turning 30

Senior year. Everyone is turning eighteen. Everyone is applying to college. Everyone is very serious about their future adulthood. Everyone has bought Catcher in the Rye and it is changing their lives and then one day in English I say something like, “I think that book is pretty lame” and this one girl in soccer socks turns to me and she has the gall to go, “you’re so ignorant, Leigh.”

On Pair-Bonding

You experience a brief fugue: Picture one of the “eliminated” contestants returning home to their job as [something], meeting friends somewhere for a meal or coffee/tea beverage, picture them far away from a world that manicured them and plucked their brows, picture them exactly like you again, like… having had to go from being a Person on TV to being exactly like you except maybe a little more gorgeous, and that they have all these friends who were not chosen to go on TV.

Things People Do On Google Plus

Although the form of +1 has not yet been concretely established it looks likely that ‘plus-one-ing’ will be how people vocalize their expression of approval for things on Google+, e.g: “I don’t know really what there is to do on Google+ so I just go through my feed plus-one-ing everything.”

On Intimacy

Last night I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend where we were using computers side by side. Toward the tail end of our relationship, which saw us cohabitating for some six years, all we ever did was use computers; relegated by yawning space to separate rooms in our little apartment, yards apart. We IMed rather than raise our voices, the din of the television swelling into the painful distance between us…

On Girls Who Only Like Jerks

That a woman would somehow not like a man who was kind and treated her with respect is absurd on its face, and yet there is in fact a strain of female, that while much narrower than aggrieved supposed ‘nice guys’ believe, consistently prefers a man who treats her like crap.

On The Supposed Idea That Girls Only Like Jerks

Perhaps if you follow girls around doing only what they want to do and subverting your will in favor of theirs, you will think you are being nice, but others are liable to view you as a doormat, potentially lacking in will or direction, and/or bereft of substance to contribute to an ideally-equitable relationship. These are not desirable traits in a partner…

The Different Types of Drunk You Can Be

There are several gradients of drunk that are possible. Numerous individuals will enter and continue their adult lives acquainted with only one item on the following list, and will report said item occurs predictably on every occasion on which they drink. The experience of other individuals will be generally comprised of two or more, but not all items on the following list.

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