All the Video Game Consoles I’ve Ever Owned in Chronological Order, Pt. 4 of 4

Wii

Wii makes traditional gamers angry. Imagine, if you will, a lovely family from an exotic foreign country where their cultures/manners are vastly improved to those in the U.S. moves to a small Midwestern town that is ‘deeply ingrained in its traditions’. The family has a child approx 6 years of age. The child wears an eggshell-colored jumper and blue hair ribbons and looks like a well-behaved and radiantly friendly lamb. The child walks out onto the dustbowl of the playground and is savagely beaten by some shitty bullies in like Lakers jerseys or something.

Except fuck those kids; the child’s parents are billionaires and the new child has a lovely life at home.  Important dignitaries from foreign lands, cultured individuals and ‘tween pop stars’ are the child’s regular friends. The child grows up to invent and create things that change the world. This ‘mental image’ somewhat roughly describes the relationship Wii has with the rest of the game industry.

Gamers don’t really like to hold Wii remotes and ‘flail’. Only some 70 million other people globally doing that, apparently. The Wii is on track to be the most successful console ever, despite having once been called ‘two GameCubes duct-taped together.’ Can’t say I really like playing Wii.

Conversely you could argue that a whole ton of people purchased Wii for its novelty + trend value, a purchase made possible by its very accessible ‘price point’, and now they no longer play it ever at all because its input mechanics [flailing] are not sustainable.

Or you could just not argue because when a console sells over 70 million units globally, there’s no point in arguing.

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