All the Video Game Consoles I’ve Ever Owned in Chronological Order, Pt. 3 of 4

Nintendo 64 (1996-2001)

I didn’t own this console. My cousin did. I deliberately chose not to own this console because it features the worst controller design ever, because I did not want to play blocky 3D platformers and because I hated the new Zeldas. When I say that someone is definitely going to ‘cry on a forum,’ even those readers who laughed when I suggested angry gamers were going to go ‘cry on a forum’ about me skipping the NES for a while or something, it will be because I said that [in re the N64 Zeldas.]

Most people will say ‘The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is the best Zelda’, possibly they will say it was ‘the best video game of all time.’ Those people are totally entry-level or confused by nostalgia. A Link to the Past is the best Zelda, and the best video game of all time [being pretty ‘objective’, using general standards & not my ‘personal faves’] is probably Castlevania Symphony of the Night or Super Metroid.


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  • tracy morgan

    i haven't read this, yet, but the homepage makes it look like 'all the boyfriends i've ever had, part x of n' is by leigh alexander, which, having read the previous two 'videogame consoles,' i was really excited for, but obviously leigh alexander is way too busy playing videogames to have boyfriends, so here we are.

    • tracy morgan

      also that last paragraph under n64 is pretty freakin' gutsy

      • BIB

        Tracy Morgan reads Thought Catalog?

      • tracy morgan

        someone had already taken 'wesley snipes'.

  • Molly Oswaks

    None of what you said makes any sense. Did the fact that both Leigh and Lesley are writing serial pieces confuse you?

    • tracy morgan

      lady broseph, go look at the homepage, and look at how it's aligned in columns. if the top name for the first article on the left is cut off, the name between the two articles could ostensibly refer to either article, if you had no foreknowledge! this is why i thought that.

  • Morgan

    What about Shenmue for Dreamcast?

    • mario

      'jet grind radio'

      • Jim Colns

        'Crazy Taxi'

      • BIB

        House of the Dead

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