1. Expecting your partner to fulfill every single role you assign them
I was just watching this Ted Talk done by a woman named Esther Perel, who is a best selling author that studies relationship and the need for desire. She talked about how for hundreds of years, it really did “take a village” when it came to living life and receiving help. When women had children, they had a very multifaceted support system, while the husband purely worked. Decades and decades ago, women did not have a husband who was the best friend, the adventure partner, the warm bed at night, the hot gym body, the great dad, etc. Current day we want and crave that. Although it is greatly important to know your boundaries and not settle, it’s important that we are easy on our partners. It’s important we don’t hold certain expectations that sabotage the relationship.
2. Showing up with a bad attitude
Your vibe is the prelude to the success of your relationship. If you show up unhappy, it’s going to feel unhappy. If you show up with hostility, things are not going to feel empowering. You have to recognize how you’re engaging with your partner.
3. Letting your own traumas affect the way your relationship functions
By bringing your own insecurities, trauma, and past to your relationship, you are setting it up to work in the same way as your past relationships. It’s so important to bring the healthiest version of yourself to your relationship.
4. Assuming the worst
You have to have enough mental stability to not assume the worst. Thoughts become things; we set the tone for how the story unravels. In order to not harm our relationship, we have to look at it with light rather than darkness. Our mental power and how we choose to look at it can either completely shatter our relationship or bring it to the best place you can imagine.
5. Forgetting to take care of yourself
The most important thing we can do for ourselves in a relationship is to continue on with our commitment to ourselves. When we are in a space where we can manage our own balance, honor our own being, and continually do things to enhance our lives, we can then be our most present and happy self. You have to take care of you so that others can take care of you.