How To Practice Forgiving Yourself After You’ve Really Fucked Up

time lapse photography of woman portrait
Motoki Tonn / Unsplash

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably recently fucked up. Mistakes are inevitable, but that doesn’t mean they don’t also make you feel like shit after you’ve made them.

Maybe you slept through your alarm and missed work or a class, maybe your relationship is falling apart because of something that you did, or maybe you unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings. You are not alone in your mistake making. Everyone fucks up all of the time, too.

The way we practice forgiving ourselves is just that: a practice. It’s a muscle. It’s something that you have to consistently work on and through to grow and master. It’s something that requires us to give it patience, grace, and compassion on a daily basis. 

The way we practice forgiving ourselves is the same way we practice anything else we attempt to excel in.

We have to create positivity around it. 

We have to establish boundaries around our dedication and commitment to it. 

We have to offer ourselves compassion through it. 

We have to remind ourselves that there will be good days and there will be bad days, much like everything else. 

We have to remain grateful even when we feel disappointed, and especially when we feel that disappointment towards ourselves. 

We have to be consistent. 

We have to put forth all of our efforts. 

We have to be mindful, present, and willing to be right here right now. 

We have to think with more logic than emotion; we have to understand that no matter what we do the world will continue. 

Practicing forgiveness requires us to take a step back and be less hard on ourselves. We are human. And it’s okay to act like one sometimes.

Practicing forgiveness requires us to acknowledge our wrongdoings; make a game plan that better aligns with our morals and values so that we can avoid repeating the same mistake, and then to move forward. We have to practice this daily. Even minute by minute, if you need to. 

Try to be easy on yourself. Whatever you did so long as you are alive, it could have been a lot worse.

Practice forgiveness.

Focus forward.

Look for positivity.

Keep moving, human. TC mark

Leena Sanders

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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