Doing This One Thing Completely Saved My Relationship

man and woman standing while looking each other near body of water
Ryan Jacobson / Unsplash

When relationships go through trying times it’s so easy to get really negative.

For me, when my relationship is having a difficult time I know I pay extra attention is everything that is going wrong. I do this so that I can be aware of what needs to be fixed, the intentions are good.

However here’s what I’ve learned:

When we focus on the negative, things stay negative.

For an example:

If you constantly tell your partner that you need him to do the dishes every single night because you are exhausted and you get home late, I guarantee the one night that he doesn’t do the dishes or if he doesn’t pick up his clothes from the bathroom you’ll feel unheard and feel bad about the relationship. We disconnect, both intentionally and unintentionally.

I’ve been in the same relationship for over three years and he is the kindest, gentle, and considerate human I’ve ever met. He’s also human. He sometimes DOES forget when I ask him to buy peanut butter or do the dishes. What I had to learn to do was shift my perspective. Just because my partner forgets to do the dishes *one* time, doesn’t mean they don’t hear me or they don’t care.

When I changed my attitude, I changed my relationship. 

If we put our energy into focusing on the positive things, those things will be magnified. 

There’s a happy balance we must find when it comes to having our needs be met and offering compassion and forgiveness when they aren’t, but when we can control how we feel about something we must do our best to make it be positive.

Sometimes we have to set the tone of how our relationship is going to go and feel.

Sometimes we just have to let things be good. 

Sometimes we have to allow the little things to bypass our anxious radar so that we can feel peace.

When we can shift our mindset and how we perceive the situation from something bad to something good, the quality of our relationship instantly elevates.

Sometimes we just have to remain happy and positive and allow our relationships to follow our lead.   TC mark

Leena Sanders

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He only wanted validation.

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