It’s normal for our brains to immediately answer our own questions, even if the answers aren’t true. When things make sense, we feel at ease. When we know all of the information, we can move forward a lot easier. When we have answers, that is when we feel we can start the process of acceptance and then eventually we can learn to let go and not feel the weight anymore.
I used to give myself all my own answers. In doing this, I lived in a reality swayed by my own fears, disfigurement, and interpretations, rather than just sit with the reality before me as it was. A lot of the time it is more uncomfortable for things to just simply not make sense than it is to feed ourselves inaccurate information.
I used to think, “oh well if he isn’t calling me, obviously he doesn’t care to speak to me,” or “oh she hasn’t talked to me in a month, she doesn’t value our friendship.” This kind of habit leads us to other bad habits. This is dangerous because the answers we give ourselves are often negative, not kind, and we put ourselves in narratives where we don’t have the power or value that we inevitably always have.
There is a lot of beauty and a lot of growth when we can adapt to seeing a situation for what it is, rather than what would make sense to us.
Sometimes the way people heal is not going to make sense.
Sometimes the way people move forward is not going to make sense.
Sometimes the way people cope is not going to make sense.
Sometimes people are going to miss us and not show an ounce of yearning and it is not going to make sense.
Sometimes people will love us more than the moon and we will feel no ounce of admiration, and it is not going to make sense.
Sometimes times will change, people will leave, people will show up, miracles will happen, trauma will occur, and life will flow – and it simply will not make sense.
Real power happens when we show up in the midst of things not making sense. Real strength happens when we show up when there is no guarantee of any answers.
We become present when we show up and we sit with what is actually happening rather than what would potentially make sense.
Sometimes there is no why, no explanation, no closure, no hidden meaning, no big revelation – sometimes things just don’t make sense.
We can both show up to the chaos and be the peace in it. We can look at situations and read them just as they are, no matter how much meaning it may seem to lack.
Accept life as it is; do not become a prisoner to the story you make up just so you can have answers.
Become curious. Ask questions. Do not assume. There is a beautiful life before us and beyond us, and it’s rarely ever going to make sense.