101 Reasons You Should Not Get Married Before You Turn 21

Jeremy Bishop
Jeremy Bishop

1. Your frontal cortex isn’t even developed.

2. You have no idea who you are.

3. Whoever you currently are, is going to change drastically in that time period.

4. You haven’t furthered your educational experience in solitude.

5. You have a juvenile conception of what growth even means.

6. You have yet to make and harbor the long lasting friendships made in college.

7. Your significant other doesn’t even know who he/she is.

8. You haven’t yet formed enough thoughts on pivotal topics that create your identity.

9. You haven’t even created your identity.

10. You have yet to get lost.

11. You have yet to get hurt over and over and over again.

12. You will skip an entire decade that is supposed to be dedicated to having roommates, going to open mic nights, and dancing drunk off wine in the rain with no one worrying about your whereabouts.

13. You haven’t even cared for your own pet yet.

14. You have never experienced the joy of living alone and decorating your house HOWEVER you want.

15. You miss out on the CRUCIAL connection you make at your first job post college.

16. Your mind is always thinking for two, which inevitably takes the attention off of yourself.

17. You automatically put yourself in a place of being rushed if you are engaged.

18. Once you are engaged, you lack being present because you are constantly thinking about the next step.

19. You haven’t taken a train ride by yourself yet.

20. You haven’t traveled Europe alone.

21. You don’t know what it’s like to have spontaneous ideas and then follow them fiercely and independently.

22. You don’t have time to create a new dream purely because you want to.

23. You will enter a phase of having to ask permission and feel obligated to share intimate details about EVERYTHING with someone else.

24. You haven’t given yourself enough time to truly become your own best friend.

25. You have NO idea what other guys are like; you have no idea of what is normal and what is not.

26. You dismiss the most pertinent phases of your life.

27. You won’t know what it’s like to heal in the presence of your own soul.

28. You have never spent a night sick and alone and away from your mother and learned how to take care of yourself.

29. You will be forced to dismiss temptation.

30. Your mom will be mad.

31. Your mom will be mad because she wants more for you.

32. You are too young to even want more for you.

33. You won’t acknowledge the red flags.

34. Your hormones are at a high and are SO irrational.

35. You will never have a memorable and sentimental college experience.

36. When you look back on your college experience, you will know you could have lived more.

37. The world wants to experience more of you.

38. You have yet to taste ever type of foreign food alone.

39. You haven’t read enough to even pick out your favorite book.

40. You become dependent on someone at the WORST time to become dependent.

41. Anyone who wants to get married to you that young, obviously doesn’t know how to be alone either.

42. Anyone who wants to get married to you that young also is missing vital stages of their growth.

43. Young marriages don’t last and it’s not because love fades, it’s because your brain chemistry LITERALLY changes drastically and it is so unfair to the other person to try and grow together.

44. Say goodbye to spending all of your money on yourself.

45. Say hello to a permanent roommate.

46. Finals week WILL be 10 X harder.

47. You wire your brain to operate in a way that it’s not ready to.

48. The hobbies you develop while being single are the hobbies that will forever mean the most to you and get you through the roughest times.

49. You will have to make a commitment to doing “grown up” things that you are NOT ready for. Filing joint taxes, splitting bills, etc.

50. You are too fragile and naive to create a healthy marriage.

51. You know nothing about the communication skills you need.

52. You will want to go through an independent phase later on in life and it will affect your kids.

53. You are not financially ready.

54. You haven’t felt what it’s like to be naked, in more ways than one, with a variety of people.

55. You don’t own enough footies yet.

56. You haven’t practiced vulnerability enough.

57. You probably don’t even know what vulnerability means and the importance of it is.

58. You haven’t felt the freedom of buying your first luxury car.

59. One night stands? No way.

60. You haven’t even made a commitment to care for a fish.

61. You will never fully enact and embrace what it’s like to only think for yourself.

62. You are 100% more tied down.

63. It’s less easy to pick up and live your life if you decide you want to.

64. There is no such thing as a mass girl sleepover in one bed.

65. Society and the roles of youth have detrimentally changed.

66. Statistically, youth cannot handle the expectations at such a young age.

67. You haven’t even been able to vote in more than a max of one election.

68. You don’t know what it’s like to breathe alone and love it.

69. You worth is still contingent.

70. You haven’t given yourself enough time to process earlier years.

71. You miss out on moments because you are constantly trying to be in someone else’s.

72. You haven’t mastered the art of being alone.

73. Your coping skills will have been altered.

74. You are introduced to codependency at an age that will annihilate you.

75. You will always be wanting more in life because you rushed into something that is so serious.

76. You will miss out on late night drives with your friends blasting music and feeling what the definition of connection really means.

77. You haven’t made enough mistakes.

78. You don’t even fully know that it is okay to make mistakes.

79. You haven’t seen the beauty in the world through the eyes of your most raw self.

80. You haven’t had the best years of your life yet.

81. You haven’t formed your own, untouched political opinions.

82. You haven’t gotten enough education to even understand how the world works.

83. You haven’t experienced what it’s like to see a movie alone.

84. You haven’t experienced that importance of cooking a fancy meal for yourself and only yourself.

85. You aren’t even fully independent from your parents yet.

86. You will deny and dismiss opportunity unintentionally.

87. You will be the main character in someone else’s story and more than likely forget to write your own.

88. You haven’t experienced independent city life.

89. You haven’t experienced the joy of being able to go home and be alone after a chaotic day.

90. You will lose the drive to think for yourself.

91. You will be molded and formed into someone you would not have been if you just took some time to be and create you.

92. Your priorities will change just when you need to prioritize you the most.

93. You have to go on an adventure of a lifetime, by yourself.

94. You will be curious but unable to act on curiosity.

95. You wont ever be able to say, “OH MY GOSH THIS ONE TIME IN MY 20’S….”

96. You have yet to be open and learn how to still feel safe while being open to the universe.

97. You have no idea that you know nothing.

98. Your habits will change.

99. Your values will change, because being so young; most people are also easily persuaded.

100. You haven’t even given life a chance yet.

101. When you are old, whether or not you stay together, you will wish you had waited. TC mark

Leena Sanders

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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