I’m slowly learning how to be okay with exactly where I am.
I’m learning that peace isn’t anywhere that I’m not already. There is no destination with ease waiting for me. Ease is found on the road I’m already walking on— ease is a choice I have to accept inside of me.
The anxiety that convinces me I’m supposed to be somewhere else, searching for something else, is merely distracting me from what I have and what’s right in front of me. I am exactly where I am supposed to be, with exactly who I am supposed to be here with.
There is no such thing as a better life unless I spend the one I’m living thinking it’s not enough. The grass is greener where I water it, much like better days are only far in the future if I refuse to acknowledge the good parts in the ones I’m experiencing right now.
Peace in the now is the willingness to accept that things don’t always look how I thought they would. It’s forgiving myself for all the times I didn’t speak or act from the most authentic parts of me, the parts still wounded and not tended to yet. It’s being able to move forward with myself. It’s setting myself free from everything that did or didn’t happen in the past so that I can have freedom today. It’s taking responsibility, saying sorry, and making the commitment to always pledge to do better.
I’m learning how to stop anticipating the happiness and hope that I long for and start surrendering to the fact that I already have it. I have everything I need. Everything that’s happened and that is happening is for me—all me.
I’m learning that I have so much more to see, accomplish, create, and learn, but that it isn’t anything that won’t happen when it’s supposed to. I’m slowly learning how to be okay with exactly where I am, because if I don’t find a way to see the immeasurable value in today, I won’t ever be able to find it in myself.