There is no one rule of thumb across the board when it comes to knowing love because everyone’s situation and experience is entirely different, but there are certain principles that teach us exactly what we need to know, no matter how it’s delivered. Some of the love we meet encapsulates many of these things into one person or one experience alone; other times, it’s a journey of seeing these little things spread between many encounters.
These are important.
Here are the 10 different men/love experiences that teach you everything you need to know about forever.
1. The one that knows what he wants.
This is the experience we endure that elevates us; it serves as a guide. We grow when we watch other people know exactly what way they are growing. It offers inspiration. It offers guidance. It offers validation and clarity. It offers all the certainty that comes with having a pinned point direction.
2. The one from your past.
This is the love that repeats itself. The one that shows up on the days when you least expect it, yet never seems to go away. This one is familiar and teaches us parts about home. This one really doesn’t ever go away until it teaches us what we need to know.
3. The one that is close with your family.
The kind of love that allows you to envision your future family by watching them with yours. There’s a certain kind of hope and trust you feel when you have this that gives the relationship deeper meaning and attachment.
4. The one you have absolutely nothing in common with.
The one where connection lacks, and not even necessarily in a horrible way all the time. There lacks a certain type of intimacy and closeness because it’s more about meeting each other where you are both at in each moment rather than creating a foundation to climb on together.
5. The one that makes you lead with your heart instead of your head.
The one that makes you toss logic out the fucking window. This is also the one that teaches you about your inner voice and trusting your gut. This one is a prelude to befriending yourself and your intuition in new ways. Ways that leave you full and always with more of yourself.
6. The one that challenges you.
This love takes everything you’ve ever thought or known and makes you want to discover it for yourself all over again. The one that makes you think, reflect, and dive into waters you’ve never dared to dive into before. This is a love that has depth—it often presents itself as many layers at first.
7. The one that makes you ask yourself questions.
The good questions. The bad questions. The ugly questions. This love breaks you open and forces you to lean on yourself and what you know to be true while simultaneously questioning exactly what that is. This love is complex, it’s raw, and it requires a commitment to yourself while navigating it.
8. The one that forces you to let go.
The one that breaks you into pieces and forces you to set yourself free. The one where you learn how to forgive yourself, to move forward without closure, to find joy in letting old things rest. This is the love that makes you feel deep grief, which will one day turn to deep joy because of it.
9. The one that makes absolutely no fucking sense.
The one where all of your friends are genuinely confused because it’s so out of character for you. This is love without reason. You know it doesn’t make sense, and so does everyone else.
10. The one that brings things full circle for you.
The forever love. The one that makes you completely understand why everything didn’t work before. Everything makes sense with this love—all the pieces fit the puzzle.