1. Healing is not linear.
There will be times it feels like you are going backwards or not progressing at all simply because you don’t feel 100% better. Do not measure your evolution by what you’re currently feeling or where you’re currently at—this changes by the minute sometimes. You are healing even when it doesn’t feel like it.
2. You are not wrong or less worthy for feeling the way you do.
There is no right or wrong way to feel, respond to, or navigate deep pain. Start by addressing how you do feel rather than how you wish you did—that’s where the road to feeling better starts. Give yourself permission to be wherever you are, fully.
3. You can still move forward without the closure you think you need.
I used to think closure needed to look a certain way before you could move on with your life, but that’s the farthest thing from how moving forward actually works. Your happiness and freedom cannot be dependent on answers, clarity, or things making sense. Closure is whatever you give to yourself; it’s however you choose to build yourself back together. It’s the answers you give yourself and your ability to not dwell on the ones you’ll never be able to. It’s how you hold your own hand and pick yourself up.
4. The things you are made up of are stronger and more powerful than the things that don’t make sense right now.
The person you are and the things you have yet to experience are bigger than the things that don’t make sense. The future has joy you have yet to meet. Believe that.
5. Life isn’t happening to you, it’s happening for you.
That’s not always what we want to hear, but it’s true: It’s all for you. Everything.
6. Nothing goes away until it teaches you what you need to know.
If it’s a lesson that keeps popping up or a situation that keeps resurfacing, there is something you need to learn from it before it will dissipate. Lean into that. Ask yourself questions. Freedom is at the surface of everything you aren’t attached to.
7. If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.
Nothing is worth your peace.
8. Just because you don’t have it yet doesn’t mean you never will.
When we can shift our perception we can make room for more possibility. When we look at things as contingent as they truly are, we can accept that things are always in the works—it’s not that we won’t get what it is that we want, it’s just that we don’t have it yet.
9. You will be okay again and find joy in new moments.
You will heal. You will move forward. You will create a life for yourself that feels good to live, a life filled with more happiness than you think is even possible right now.