Read This If You Are Trying To Find Yourself Again

woman sitting near wall
Nathan Jefferis / Unsplash

I spent years trying to unmask who I really was / am.

Am I graceful or do I speak my mind?

Do I unconditionally love everyone or do I have standards and boundaries around certain things?

Do I keep to myself and stay reserved or do I unapologetically speak my truth?

I had no idea for the longest time who I was, at times I still feel this way. How do we even know who we really are? And if we don’t know who we are, where do we go and what do we do to find out?

The most prominent thing I have learned recently is that although we are taught to endlessly seek ourselves; we will never find ourselves where we choose to look.

To “find” ourselves implies that we aren’t already who we are. To “find” ourselves implies that we must search elsewhere for a person that we aren’t already.

There may be layers conditioned and molded on top of our core, but we already are exactly who we are supposed to be.

You already are who you are. You don’t need to find yourself; you ARE yourself.

There should be no such thing as a quest to find and become someone you aren’t already, but rather a quest you embark on to shed all of the layers that aren’t actually yours.

It’s important to decipher exactly who you crave to be + what feels good, and then make adjustments to your reality and attitude accordingly – but you already exist regardless. You already have a magic about you that’s your own. You already have bold intentions. You already know certain things you like and certain things you dislike.

The key to understanding who you are is not to find yourself, it’s to become yourself.

When we can shed layers, anxiety, habits, and thoughts that are ours, we can embrace the core person inside of us who is screaming to be heard.

Ask yourself questions, you know the answer.

Do things that you know you enjoy doing.

Speak when you want to speak and be silent when you want to be silent.

You can change no matter how many times you need to; change however many times you need to in order to feel closer to the person that you already are inside.

And remember:

It’s not about finding yourself, it’s about becoming yourself. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog