I see so many different ways people communicate and engage with conflict in their relationship. Although every situation is different and there are many ways to navigate disagreements or conflict, there still is always a right and a wrong way when it comes to really communicating with your partner. The quality of your relationship is based off of the quality of your communication, the way we speak to people, especially our person, is so important and determines a lot for our relationship.
Here are 20 basic rules that would never be broken so long you were actually dealing with your forever person:
1. Walk away or leave.
2. Make you feel bad for feeling the way you do.
3. Try to lessen your emotions by making theirs more important.
4. Raise their voice or yell.
5. Use names or foul language.
6. Compare you to other people.
7. Laugh or refuse to take you seriously.
8. Speak while you are speaking.
9. Refuse to truly listen to your words how you are actually saying them.
10. Continue to argue rather than be solution focused.
11. Say things they really don’t mean that they later have to / feel the need to say sorry for.
12. Tell you that your experience isn’t real/true.
13. Refuse to look you in the eyes.
14. Get hostile and defensive.
15. Poke at your sensitive parts on purpose / just to make you more upset.
16. Cross your boundaries.
17. Look at their phone.
18. Refuse to take personal responsibility (and make it always seem to be somehow your fault).
19. Make you feel like you are less valued, loved, or adored.
20. Brings up stuff from the past that serves no purpose to talk about (as if it’s still even relevant somehow).