This Is Why You Can Never Take Things Personally

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Ting Tian / Unsplash

So often we let others words and criticism make us feel completely devalued. Coming from the most sensitive person I’ve ever met (me, I’m talking about me), I personally know the suffrage that comes along with feeling judged, belittled, and not accepted.

The other day on Instagram, one of my old friends made a post that read, “Modesty is the hottest.” I spend most of my days in flannels and leggings and my nights in footie pajamas so this statement didn’t bother me, personally. However, I am an empath and I could just feel the pain, devaluing, and judgment that others may have felt by this statement. Given that this girl had followers who were very much so advocates of, “free the nipple” and other body positive messages, I knew there’d be people who took offense to some girl trying to tell them how guys prefer them to dress.

It’s so easy to take situations like this and become so vulnerable to them that we take them beyond personally. Here’s the thing though, and we need to remember this right before we allow the words of others to be something we base our worth or how good we feel about ourselves off of:

Sometimes the girl that preaches about modesty, is the same girl that takes her clothes off for her boyfriend’s best friend.

In this situation, the girl who was all high and mighty about girls dressing in a way that she deemed appropriate, ended up dressing half naked at Coachella and having an ongoing affair with her boyfriends (at the time) best friend.

There’s more than this situation that can contribute to my moral of the story also. For an example, have you ever gotten relationship advice from someone who is in an unhealthy relationship? This is why it is crucial that we pay attention to who is offering wisdom, and then making the logical and personal decision as to how serious we take their words.

THIS is why we must be cautious as to what we let hurt us, and the sources that rely on to deliver these messages. More times than not, we are triggered and we speak from a place that is emotion based. What others speak about is a direct representation as to where they are at. THIS is why we must be cautious enough to not let these types of comments to destroy our own image of ourselves or the world.

We have to question our sources. We have to understand the pain behind the people and their words themselves. We have to be so strong in our own foundation that it is not rocked when triggered.

So just remember: people speak from where they are at, what they are learning, what they are capable of comprehending, the places they are still trying to process, and their first-hand experience + all the shame, guilt, and intense emotion they feel for it still. It is never, I repeat NEVER, a direct representation of you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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