Everyone has their own techniques when it comes to moving forward. There are millions of articles on the web about healing from heartbreak, loss, and breakups – but what actually works?
Don’t get me wrong, bubble baths, wine with the girls, therapy, and kissing strangers only to journal about worthiness and self-love might help the process; but what is it that actually allows us to leave our heartbreak and enter a new found freedom?
I have interviewed thousands of people who have lost a loved one to cancer, or who have been cheated on, or who have initiated divorce themselves, and they all have one thing in common. The one commonality between anyone who has ever moved on from a relationship is not that they started going to the gym, or that they started going to clubs, or that they wrote their pain away in the form of a letter. The one found commonality between anyone who has ever let go of anything, is that each and every one of them found something else to hold on to.
In order to stop wanting a relationship, or a friendship, or a past life, is to start wanting a different one even more.
I don’t mean this in a way that suggests jumping into relationships we aren’t even ready for, I just mean that we must start craving something more than we crave the past.
If we are heartbroken and completely devastated, the only way we will leave that space, is if our desire for personal peace and happiness is more strong than our desire to want what made us devastated in the first place.
If we are bummed that the house we wanted to buy was bought by someone who put in a higher bid than us, the only way we will leave that space is if we shift our focus on to finding an even better house (or a more positive emotion).
Human beings get attached, we grieve, we lose a lot of things we love, but the only way we will continuously survive life is to adapt to the new versions of it.
The only way we will move through past versions of life is to make our new versions even better.
We fully let go and move on from things, as soon as we move into something better – and we can always move into something better, always.