Your Relationships Are Only As Healthy As You

couple on a dock in front of a mountain
Benjaminrobyn Jespersen

I saw this quote the other day and it said, “A healthy relationship is made up of two healthy people.” This really hit home for me because recently one of my oldest and closest friends committed to an extremely unhealthy and domestically violent relationship and I have spent weeks on end in pure confusion on why she would do that.

In reality, it is simple.

Healthy people choose healthy relationships. In fact, they demand it. 

When I say healthy people I am not referring to the ones who appear to have their shit together, I’m talking about the ones who actively seek their best life and best self every single day. The kinds of people who are aware of what they deserve are the people who already treat themselves that same exact way.

The only kind of relationship we will have with other people is the exact same one we are having with ourselves. This is why it is so important that we have skills and the relationship with ourselves that we want to have with others.

If we know how to effectively communicate, it will show in our relationships.

If we know how to manage our emotions, it will show in our relationship.

If we know how to set boundaries, our relationships will reflect just that.

If we can offer ourselves compassion when we mess up, chances are we will be able to do so with others as well.

If we are not codependent and we know how to fill ourselves up, our relationship will mirror that.

All of the tendencies we form in our solitude are those we will have in whatever relationship we are in.

How we speak, how we time manage, how we show up to conflict, how we apologize, how we offer compassion, how we sit in humility, and the way we dance barefoot in the kitchen at night, will be the exact same whether it be in our own company or in the company of someone else.

If we want our relationship to be healthy, both people must first be well and have that type of relationship with themselves. 

This is why it is so important to learn how to give yourself grace, to understand yourself, to be present with yourself, to embrace being raw and vulnerable, to follow your passions, to check in with yourself mentally and physically and make sure you are okay, to actively strive to communicate better, befriend your sensitive parts, and become the healthiest version of yourself possible.

A healthy relationship is made up of two healthy people. Two people who healthily share themselves, communicate, show up, have boundaries, and know themselves enough to never abandon parts of them in order to interact with another.

When we have a healthy relationship with ourselves, that is when we can have one with others. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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