Big Girl, You Are Beautiful

God & Man

Dear (discouraged) Big girl,

Fuck what the world thinks, and fuck what you think (if it’s anything negative). You were fearfully created by the God of all things, in His own image, and He’s the One who makes all things beautiful. That includes you boo. There are no words one can use to define your worth, and it’s important to know this because your value can change with a single nasty word. Your true value, to the world large, is unmatched. You are so beautiful that there aren’t two of you in the world, that’s more than enough reason for you to feel amazing and celebrate yourself every day of your life. You deserve it.

Speaking of deserving things, remember the countless times you told yourself that you don’t deserve love because of your size? You couldn’t have been more wrong. There is so much love to share in the world, and one thing I assure you of is that there is someone out there that’s destined to love you to healing from whatever hurt you’ve experienced. He will embrace all your rolls, and adore your cellulite and stretch marks that you won’t even notice them anymore, never mind be bothered by them. Even if you don’t find your soulmate in this lifetime, you still have family and friends that have loved you fiercely since day one, and always will no matter how you look. It’s about gosh-damn time you appreciate those people, babe. Do it now, while you’re still breathing.

Back when I was where you are, I wore clothing that hid my “bigness”. Those clothes made me look frumpy and even more fat than I thought I was. I found comfort in food, and that made me spiral even further down the rabbit hole I was in. I justified my bad habits with having a low self-esteem, ignoring the fact that I needed to make positive changes to feel better. What I forgot (or rather, chose to forget) was that positive change begins with positive thinking. I reached rock-bottom, looked up some affirmations and recited a new one in the mirror every morning. They worked like a charm because before I knew it, I dressed differently and spoke more positively about my body. I also ate better, which made my skin glow and my soul oh-so-happy. Needless to say, I attracted more friends and potential beaus that wanted to be around my aura. I haven’t looked back since.

Don’t think that you won’t have bad days, because they’ll come. Oh boy, will they come and rain on you hard. You’ll find yourself relapsing and binge eating on junk food, wearing frumpy clothing and wallowing in self-pity. Don’t stay in that rut. You’re literally allowed to stay in that mess strictly for 24 hours, then you need to get your cute ass in gear to getting better. Don’t allow yourself to stay in that hole because there’s no way out once you’re in too deep. Don’t forget to call for help when you need to, that’s also something important to remember. It’s not cute getting yourself into self-destruct mode when you have a support system in place to help you when you need it.

We should probably discuss the topic of confidence too. Here, the first step is to fake it. Yeah, I said it: Fake it! Walk tall with your head up high. Command attention whenever you walk into the room and be the greatest version of yourself that you can be even if you don’t feel that way. Confidence is the sexiest thing anyone can wear. Notice how guys who aren’t usually physically appealing to women tend to get some of the hottest women chasing after them. The difference between them and those who don’t have groupies is confidence. When you lack confidence, people can tell. That’s when they shoot uncomfortable stares at you that you can feel even when you don’t notice them. It’s never great thinking other people are staring at you because you’re big, or ugly, or both. Don’t forget: Head up, chest out and walk like you just won the lottery.

Don’t listen to the voices that tell you that you can’t be big and beautiful. They might be right because you can be big, beautiful and bold. While flaunting your beauty to the world, be sure to take the best care of yourself. If you don’t like the treadmill (like me), take regular walks. Be a good girl and eat your veggies but most importantly, be confident. You have no reason not to because you are amazing. Now get out there and live, Beautiful. TC mark

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