This one is for those who can’t seem to find the beauty in themselves. The ones whose hearts break every time they step onto the scale and stare at their reflection in the mirror.
Being a big girl all my life, I know what it’s like to stare at myself in the mirror with disgust and shame. The tears would well up and my heart broke a little each time. I even remember an ex-boyfriend breaking up with me because he thought I was “too heavy” to be his beloved anymore. It hurt me so much that I turned to food for the love I wanted. The end result was months of weight gain and self-blame. Little did I know, I was going to find strength within myself to rise about his hurtful words and realise the beauty I possessed all along.
I remember staring at people pass by a restaurant was at, while enjoying a chocolate sundae, thinking about how perfect their lives must be to not have to worry about their weight and what others thought of them. See, I was a mental slave to my insecurities so confidence, to me, was a kind of freedom I thought I couldn’t afford. All the years of self-criticism and the aura of negativity surrounding me had conditioned me to think that I was not worthy to be happy. The truth is, I deserve to be happy. The keys to the shackles of my mind were in the palm of my hand all along, all it took to realise this was a moment spent talking to my reflection naked.
Yup, I had to strip naked to wake up! I had to make myself vulnerable to my thoughts in order to realise that the things id told myself about me were wrong, and that need to love myself first before I can choose happiness. From then onwards, confidence overwhelmed me so much so that those who knew me praised me for being confident. To be honest, I didn’t want that. I wanted them to notice that I had changed for the better but not to congratulate me for it because that’s how things should have been from the beginning. You can’t praise or applaud someone for doing what he/she should be doing.
So if you are where I was, know that you do owe the world something: the best of you. Don’t be afraid to rock your curves and rolls like a star, because that’s exactly what you are. There is little the world can do to break you unless you let it. Keep your head up, dust off the negativity and walk tall. Never be afraid to be beautiful, because your carnal nature can’t help it. The opinions of others should be as valuable as the dirt under your shoe honey, that’s how great you are. Remind yourself that the world would miss out on the thing best ever should you suppress your awesomeness. You were created to be phenomenal, don’t waste your life settling for less.
I picked up a new motto that might help you out:
I am a queen. Therefore the opinions of peasants shouldn’t make me question my worth. Be sure to not only think and live as a queen, but to treat yourself as such. The world awaits the real you. The best of you. The beautiful you.