1. The Oversized SUV Driver: Picture it: a 2015 Escalade is driving behind you in the left lane. You, in your sedan, are driving just above the speed limit down the road. Suddenly, you’re being tailgated. You look in your rear view and all you see is a forehead behind the wheel of the Escalade. She’s honking, swearing, on the phone with her kids in the back seat. You, frustrated, move over to the right lane to let this aggressive driver by, only to watch them make the left turn into the Americana Luxury Shoppes parking lot.
This happens daily when you drive on the North Shore of Long Island. Little women in big SUV’s attempt to scare you off the road so they can get to their luxury shops in the quickest amount of time. They’re aggressive, dangerous, and everywhere.
2. The Princess: Yes, they are real! The “JAPS”, the “Daddys little girls”- they are rich, they are spoiled, and, frankly, they’re harmless. It’s just the way they were raised! They love materialistic items, they drive $50,000 cars as their first car, and they’re sheltered from the reality that others face. Sure, they work, but they spend money like it grows on trees, and for the rest of their lives, they will never have to worry about money.
3. The “Started from the Bottom Now They’re Here” Family: The North Shore of Long Island holds a certain “prestige,” much like the Hamptons, so when people make it, whether it be from stocks, successful business adventures, or, ya know, “doing a favah for someone,” they usually buy a mansion on the North Shore. The mansion is a tad bit gaudy, definitely over the top, and no matter how hard they try, this family will never quite fit in in their neighborhood. It’s okay though, the rest of us love them.
4. The Angst- Ridden, Rebellious Ones: Unlike the “princess,” the angst ridden, rebellious one does not embrace the silver spoon they were handed… at least openly. They dress differently, denounce the other people in their neighborhood, and act like they just don’t give a fuck. But, here’s the thing: while they openly hate the world they grew up in, they have no problem using mommy and daddy’s money to fund their trendy apartment in Williamsburg. Give me the Princess any day- at least they put it all out there.
5. The Bragging Asshole: Honestly, this can be summed up in one name: Jordan Belfort.
6. The Humble Family: The BEST family to come across. They are the humble family that owns the biggest house in town, but you would never know it. They’re kind, their kids drive beat up cars that they had to buy themselves, and, they’re generous.