The other day, while having margaritas and tacos, one of my best friends was entirely blunt about a situation. She gave it to me straight, and frankly, it was refreshing, and it got me thinking; why don’t we tell each other the blunt, honest, truth more often?
The role of best friends is to be mirrors for each other; to say the things that need to be said, even if it might hurt. Because, at the end of the day, our best friends are the ones who know us best, and we all need a dose of reality. Here are six lies we need to stop telling each other.
1. “If he’s jealous, that means he cares about you.” NO, no, no, no! While, yes, a little jealousy is endearing, the jealousy I’m talking about is the one where you can’t even talk the bouncer without him freaking the fuck out. And, if you see your best friend being treated this way, you best believe you have to say something, even though you know they’ll most likely get defensive about the whole thing.
2. “If you don’t do it for him, someone else will.” Eww, are you really encouraging your friend to do something outside of their comfort zone just so she can keep a man? Really? Rosie the Riveter would be proud… not. We should encourage our friends to do what they’re comfortable with, and, if a man doesn’t accept that, than it’s their loss.
3. “No, it’s totally fine—I didn’t like that anyway.” This usually happens when girls are shopping together, fall in love with the same object, and suddenly, shit gets awkward. They both really love the item, but can they both own the same thing? Usually, the answer is no, and this is when the passive aggressive comments happen. So, here’s the advice ladies: just stop with the passive aggressive nonsense. Who cares if you have the same item? It shows you both have great taste… it’s not indicative of anything more. So, just buy it, both of you, and laugh at how similar you are.
4. “You Can’t Talk to that Person.” Look, being best bitches means having each others back, but sometimes, it’s okay if your best friend talks to someone that you’re not fond of. Barring personal attacks, or rumor starting, if you just had a falling out, that doesn’t mean your best friend has to have a falling out too.
5. “No, you didn’t gain any weight!” Remember that scene in Sex in the City, the movie, when Samantha shows up to Charlotte’s baby shower 15 pounds heavier, and all the girls stare, and Anthony says “What’s with the pouch? Well, she’s eating something out there…”? We all need to be the Anthony for each other. If a friend has put on weight, and it worries you, don’t be afraid to tell them, nicely of course. Typically, weight gain could be a sign of something else, just like in Samantha’s case.
6. “He’s going to call,” “No, you’re not crazy,” “He’s not worth it.” Stop sugar coating it, girls. While our radars in our own relationships might be biased, we all know our radars when it comes to our best friends’ love interest are spot.on. If you think a guy your friend is into isn’t worth it, tell her. If you think he’s playing games, tell her. Lying to your best friend is only going to lead to more heartbreak.