69 Dirty Pickup Lines Just For Techies

William Iven

1. You have such a nice backend, I would love to call your APIs all night long

2. Baby, I’d mount you like an ISO file

3. With all the languages that I code in, I have the most skilled fingers of anyone that you’ll ever meet

4. I have clean code and a dirty mind

5. In the office, they call me “The BSD” because I’ve got a Big Swinging Dick and my Berkeley Software Distribution back scripts are perfect

6. My pop-up is so big, you’ll never want to block it

7. Your beauty is unreal that I can’t keep my feet on the ground, I feel as if you’re uploading me to the Cloud when I am around you

8. Even the strongest machine learning algos can’t keep up with my ability to continuously learn how to please a woman

9. Want to role-play? I’ll be your race-car if you’ll be my Unreal Engine

10. I want to experience Unity with you … let’s skip the bedroom and play around on the ground

11. Mmm sexy lady, you are hotter than the bottom of my laptop

12. Want to experience a backdoor Trojan?

13. My hands sweat when I stay up coding all night and it makes for the perfect lube

14. Want to see my HARD disk? I promise that it isn’t 3.5 inches nor floppy

15. My data packet is so large, you’ll need to add some more IO in order to handle it

16. Are you airdropping me something? Because I’m really feeling a connection

17. No, that’s not my Mophie Juice Pack in my pocket. I’m just happy to see you

18. You had me at “Hello World”

19. No, that’s not a Saitek X52 Flight Control System in my pants, but thanks for noticing

20. Just looking at you almost made me scrum all over myself

21. Don’t worry, my McAfee tells me that I’m virus-free…

22. What’s a nice gal like you doing in this IRC channel

23. I’m going to hammer you hard in bed like a DDoS attack

24. You look naughty and I like it, how about this: I’ll take my firewall down, you grab your whip, and you can attack me all night long

25. Which of your ports can I unload my data packets in? My preference is the backdoor…

26. Some people think that I have a small package but I’m just really compressed… Wait until you unzip me

27. Hey you look like a snake-charmer, I’ll let you play with my Python anytime you want

28. I was recruited into Red Hat hacking because my penetration abilities are rock-solid

29. Are you a Razer BlackWidow Gaming Keyboard because you’re my type

30. Every time I touch my mouse, I think of you

31. I’ve read everything about Agile methodologies… I’ll show you my expertise through the positions that I’ll put you in

32. Are you an angel because your LISP code is divine!

33. I don’t mean to offend you but with that outfit, I can’t help but ask: If you were a CSP, are you providing the SaaS model “Sex-as-a-Service?”

34. I can feel your ajax calling me from across the room

35. You totally spiked my traffic

36. Can I do a penetration test on your back door?

37. If only you knew how big my hard drive is…

38. I love it when you Slack me around

39. I want to stick my Thumb Drive all up in your USB port

40. My sniffer has told me that your ports are wide open… and I love it

41. You have the hottest multi-touch interface I’ve ever seen

42. Want to come back to my place for a private beta-testing

43. Baby, all the girls in this bar have a set of floppies but you seem to have a well-rounded blog & nice tweets…

44. I’d love to examine your ports…

45. Want to come back to my place and I can show you all the start-up T-shirts that I have? It’s quite a collection

46. The way you look in that dress…. damn, server overload!

47. My bot wants to crawl all over you tonight

48. Your beauty rivals the graphics of Fallout 4

49. I promise to provide you with the best UX of your life

50. How do I switch you from off to on… In Binary b?

51. My websites never go down… but I do

52. No matter how many times I sort, you’ll always be first

53. You look like the girl that I’ve been applying algorithms to find

54. I just wrote a new insertion algo; want to try it out?

55. I thought that I could code but damn, looking at your hips, you’re fully-stacked!

56. You must be a CSS Sprite because I can picture you serving me in multiple ways….

57. Around you I feel like a boolean method, I’ll always return

58. I could tell from your doctype that we’re a match

59. Be my SDK and I’ll compile all around you tonight

60. I would never even think about minification with you; you’re perfect just the way you are

61. I’ve been using a geolocation API on you and I like what you’ve been up to

62. It’s not a computer virus, I’m simply frozen by your beauty

63. You’re my muse for my Canvas

64. It is huge… do you think you can fit it in your storage?

65. I’ll try to use a CDN but I’m not sure that I can reduce the load that I plan on releasing on you

66. I’m easier than HTML5 Boilerplate… I’ll take my clothes off for any female that’ll talk to me

67. If you’re coding in CSS3 and going through a rough patch, just know that you can always JavaScript fallback on me… I got you

68. I invented quirks mode, you have no idea what a wild ride you’re in for if you spend a night with me

69. Baby, enough with the small talk, come sit on my laptop… Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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