Falling In Love Again When You Don’t Trust Love

It is a terribly sad thing to fall in love while you are fragile. You try to tip toe into their arms instead of race like you did the last time. You try your hardest to fight off the love that is rushing your way, but you know this is a battle you won’t win. You want love, you need love, but you realize part of you has, for whatever reason, lost hope.

Isn’t it so ironic that the most beautiful thing, love, can be tainted by your past? See, when someone breaks your heart so tremendously, it sticks around for a little while. The strong need to make correlations is innate to humans. Somehow we manage to correlate heartache with love. The most painful thing somehow cozies up to the loveliest thing imaginable. It is a true injustice that this terrible connection can come about so often.

You spend days, weeks, and months trying to rewire your head and your heart, and train yourself to properly love again. You want to get inside of your brain and make the proper connections with your own two hands. You are like a car-crash survivor that needs time to heal until they step foot into a car again. Regardless of the process, each day, you progress — however slowly, you heal.

On the surface, you are cool and calm while your heart cries a little on the inside. You try to give all of yourself day after day, but your mind tells you stop. Every day you are in a constant fight with yourself to trust the new love you have found.

There is hope for these delicate souls who want love. One day, a light will shine down. You’re going to find love again. Better yet, you’re going to bask in it. One day, you will take an ounce of courage and try to love again.

Your new love will see you with all of your flaws and scoop you into their arms — they will help you feel safe again. You will appreciate them for being there while you were retraining your brain to trust love. You will curl up with them under the covers and hold them in a way you never have before because you are a survivor. You’ve healed and you have ventured into the world of love again.

And this time you will cry, not tears of sadness, but happy tears — because you are okay for the first time in a long time. Because you don’t just have love, but you’re not afraid of it anymore. After all, love’s the best thing in the world. And you should trust something as good as love. TC mark

featured image – Khánh Hmoong

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