“True love finally happens when you’re by yourself.” – Lizzo
As I scrolled through my Spotify playlist, several songs appeared on my iPhone screen: each one of them giving me a nostalgic feeling. Some were love songs, some were girl-power songs and others were just throwbacks from the old Disney Channel days.
I sighed as none of them gave me the uplifting feeling I needed to get through my treacherous commute through New York City. That is until I stopped for a moment and listened intently as a new upbeat melody effortlessly flowed through my headphones.
If you’ve never heard of the talented singer, rapper and musician that is Lizzo, you’ve certainly been living under a rock. Not only is this young, vibrant woman a forced to be reckoned with, her lyrics punch you in the gut and shout in your face “Girl, you’re too good for this world!” Listening to her new single, Soulmate, she shares a short story of how she overcame the need of wanting someone and began to love herself. It seems easy to follow, sure, but, loving yourself after times of heartache and trauma can be a more than difficult task.
“Cause I’m my own soulmate, I know how to love me.”
The process begins slowly. As an overindulgent society, we want to have someone by our side as soon as possible. We crave that access, the touch, the love, the pretty words but we never stop and think “Am I giving this to myself?” We want someone to tell us that we’re pretty, smart, funny, gorgeous or whatever positive adjective in the English language that will happen to make us feel better about ourselves.
But what happens at the end of the day? What happens to our self-confidence and sense of self when those words disappear? The lesson we should learn is that love begins from within. It’s not dates, long texts and gifts. It’s promising yourself that you’ll do better and following through with that promise. It’s doing activities and going to events all on your own. It’s stepping out of your comfort zone and from the shadows and telling the world “I’m here.”
“I know I’m a queen, but I don’t need no crown.”
Celebrate your independence. Celebrate your freedom and your interests. Celebrate who you are now. Celebrate all of the little aspects in your life: good and bad. Celebrate what makes you unique.
Take a minute.
“Look up in the mirror, like yeah she’s the one.”