Here’s what I see. Strong, powerful, amazing women, trying to find their way through the quagmire of female sexuality in America. It’s confusing. I get it. Women are trying to figure out how to thrive in a world filled with conflicting signals about how female sexuality “should be” expressed.
I spent the weekend with an elite internet marketing group. There are many powerful women who are members. They’re running businesses, making a ton of money and leading employees. And many have a similar issue: No sex. But why no sex?
Because women have been duped.
Female sexuality lights up the whole world. But, there’s a catch. A woman is not “allowed” to express her sexuality freely. So here are these powerful, powerful, powerful women who remain completely conflicted about their sexuality. It’s controlled through a very narrow channel of beliefs. If you stray too far in any direction, then you are beaten back down. It’s the crab bucket phenomenon, and no woman is allowed out.
Fear is the rule regarding female sexuality. Have no sex and become a lonely spinster. Have too much sex and become a slutty whore.
Three times this weekend, I said the simplest thing: it’s OK for you to have pleasure in your life. And three times, the women cried. As if it was some foreign concept. As if having a body that can feel and experience pleasure is unnatural.
In fact, one woman asked me if it was “OK” for her to just spread her legs and say to a guy, “lick my pussy and make me cum.” I said “of course it’s OK for you to ask for exactly what you want. And the other person can say yes or no to your request. Either way, it’s perfectly OK.” She began to cry with relief.
At what point do we realize that all the fairytales we’ve been taught are incorrect – especially when it comes to expressing female sexuality? At what point do women completely take back the sexual freedom that has always been there? At what point does a women integrate the idea that it’s not only OK to have pleasure, it’s her fucking birthright?!