Let’s say you could choose.
Would you want to end up with your ideal girl or to end up with a real girl.
Before I continue, let me define the two.
Ideal girl is your dream girl. The girl you would dream of ever since you were young. The girl that makes you turn into someone you believe you want to be. She promotes good morals and good principles that you never had but makes it possible for you to obtain, the only price is that you still have to work for it. She prefers that you don’t smoke, so you stop. She prefers that you go chase your goals and not lose yourself along the way. She’s the perfect girl that you can bring home to your family without feeling nervous if they will like her or not.
On the other hand, you have real girl. Real girl is a girl that you don’t need much effort to impress or to keep. You two barely fight because you two completely understand what it’s like to be imperfect. She doesn’t care if you keep smoking, as long as you don’t get sick or get killed because of it. She wants you to chase your goals too, but will still love you for the man you already are. You’re not sure if you can bring her to your family because you’re scared they will judge you for not being ‘perfect’.
Now let me get back to where we left of. Who would you choose?
If you could relate to what i’m talking about, you’re probably in the course of your life where you’re realising the impact of your decisions. Choosing someone is not as easy as choosing what shirt to wear for the day, because you know how hard the decision will impact your life. It’s not just about choosing a girl, it’s choosing who you want to be and grow into.
Do you want to choose the ideal girl because you believe she can change you? What if she can’t, and you’ll always be the same old ‘James (or whatever name you have)’ that you always have been. You’re probably thinking that if you do choose her, you can easily turn into that ideal self you’ve always been. Okay, maybe not easily, but eventually you will be. However, that might not be true because you will always be thinking about. You will always be thinking about how hard it is to change and start to wonder why are you trying to change so much. It will just become a back and forth argument of “I want to change because she’s worth it” and “I’m trying so hard to change but it’s just so difficult”. Okay, let’s say you do change eventually. That’s great, you have reached a perfect and ideal situation that you’ve always dreamed of since the start. I’m not saying it’s impossible, I’m saying the chances of that happening is very small, and will take a lot of effort. If you’re the type to say you want to go through it, be my guest. Don’t let me stop you from chasing your dreams.
How about the real girl? Everything is there for you. She already loves you for you, and you feel that she understands everything you want and need. You don’t need to call her up to tell her you missed her. She probably would’ve told you before you even thought about it. The relationship is effortless because it’s like you’re dating your best friend. When you open up to her, she will give you comfort and emotional support. However, if you’re the type, you’ll eventually seek for a push. As much as she can give you comfort, you will eventually need a pep talk and a slap back to reality. You’ll keep wanting to be more than yourself, but because someone loves you for who you are, you’ll feel settled and just be who you already are.
Which one would you choose? Would you want someone who needs an amount of effort to become great and ‘ideal’ or someone who already loves you for you but you won’t feel much motivation to become greater.
Either two are great. They both have their benefits and fallbacks. However, as I said in the previous paragraph, you’re not just choosing a girl, you’re choosing yourself. Is the decision easy? Hell no. The real question that you should be asking is who do you want to be? Have you figured your life out enough to settle for someone real? Or are you still trying to find your way and want to chase the ideal.