I’m Free Of The Power You Had Over Me

Yesterday, I found out that I was only there to validate you.

All those memories simply chalked up into one sentence: ‘she validated me’. It was as if the time didn’t exist, all those conversations dissipated into thin air, only to be compacted into as few words as possible. But I’ve come to the conclusion that as long as you’re okay with that, I’m okay with it too.

When you used me as a replacement for the things and people you were missing in your life, my support made you feel good about yourself again. My biggest wish, even though you’re not in my life anymore, is that you felt genuinely cared for when you were around me. But being there for someone I truly cared about was meant to be nothing close to just validation. Validation is temporary, meaningless, and a double-edged sword that can both satisfy and hurt at the same time.

Flashing back through the memories like a videotape on rewind, I don’t know how I didn’t see through you. I don’t even recognize the person I was half a year ago, the girl who trusted far too easily in a friendship that I thought was supposed to last. However, the words you said about me instantly changed everything I knew, thought, and liked about you.

Today, for the first time in 6 months, I went an entire day without you crossing my mind. Driving home across an empty bridge at 1am, only did I realize that I am moving forward. I am moving on to a better chapter without you in my life anymore, and I am finally free of the constant thoughts of sadness, anger, betrayal, and frustration.

Finally, I’m free of the power you had over me, and I know that I’ll be alright again. 

Living, reflecting, and learning to be my best self.

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