I Will Not Be Broken By My Past

Someone like you tried to break someone like me.

Whether or not you realized what you were doing, I want you to know that your actions cut deep. I also hope you know that you have done this in one way or another to every person who has ever cared about you, because you never truly cared about any of them.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but you took me for granted, like my time and energy for you were endless. You assumed my patience and kindness would never run out, and in return, you spun our story to be exactly how you wanted it to look like.

I trusted you so wholeheartedly that I didn’t stop for a moment to see that I was only a piece of your game. I was nothing more than that. Your ulterior motives were disguised as kindness; you wanted to get your way, and that involved using me to get there. Looking back, I wonder if you ever meant a single word you said. Whether or not you decide to tell me in the future, I think that is something you have to figure out on your own time.

Why are the closest people also the ones that have it in them to hurt the most? Was this what you intended, or were you just too afraid to face the truth? Maybe those will be questions that will remain unanswered.

I did everything in my power to be there for you, but in doing so, I gave a part of myself away to someone who didn’t care like I did. I lost my way, but now I’m finding it again. I promise myself every single day that what happened in the past will never define who I am or who I will become. I will not be broken by my past.

Over and over, I interrogate myself and sort through my thoughts as if I could have done something to make you stay in my life. But every single time, the conclusion I come to is the same: I wouldn’t have been able to, and I shouldn’t have to.

You needed to be set free.