The cruel words, vengeful looks, and the relentless sound of doors slammed and dishes breaking are some of the moments I will never forget.
The pain is like a dull knife slowly slicing your chest open, making your heart hurt in the deepest, most visceral ways only emotions can evoke. Every breath is a struggle as tears run uncontrollably down your face, and your innermost being feels blank, lost, and all alone.
I have been there. The worst pain comes from the lies that shatter your reality, changing your view of people and the world in an instant. In my head, I’m screaming and begging for the pain to stop, but my voice was silenced by the emptiness I felt. That emptiness, pure black as the night, is vast, infinite, stretches upon stretches of nothingness.
There are many things in this life that aren’t meant to be forever — temporary loves, places you once called home, but most of all, the pain you are feeling. Time will water down the pain that burns within you, dimming the flame until it’s a mere glow, and then nothing. All that will be left are the reminders of a time where the pain went on for days, months, and years.
I will no longer be silent. When I’m feeling pain, I won’t hide it out of fear of being vulnerable. This pain, it ignites, but then it disappears as I grow and discover who I am without the things and people I lost.
I will acknowledge that it is only human to feel pain and emotion. And I will pray to the one above that somehow, somewhere, someday, my path will be made straight.
In experiencing pain, horrible memories were permanently seared into my mind. But instead of letting the past burn through me, my identity will be my healed battle scars, the strength I possess, and the self-love I have for simply being myself.