Confidence is sexy. It feels amazing, and it attracts all the right attention. Unfortunately, many people – myself included – live with insecurity and a self-doubt that can be crippling at times. This disposition leads to competition, making it impossible to celebrate the success of others – and to enjoy your own.
That’s my new mantra, and saying it gets me to remember that we’re all pulling on the same side of the rope. If you can do something better than me, good for you! If you have something I want, congratulations! We are on the same team, and there’s enough room for everyone to be a winner.
Last Sunday, a fellow yoga teacher and acrobat asked me calmly, “Do you ever get jealous?” She was referring to something very specific, something related to our relationships. I chuckled and replied, “YES. I’m a crazy bitch. I can’t tell you how much damage I’ve caused my partner with my envy.” But the truth is, I cause myself more harm than anyone. The jig is up.
I’m awesome, and I don’t need to be the best to be great. I can kick ass hand in hand with countless others who rock. I can make a choice to marvel at more advanced asana without feeling inferior. Let it serve as inspiration. I can look at my friends in my field with bigger followings, and tip my hat. Maybe I can even partner with them and learn their ways! But nobody will like me, and I won’t do any good if I take myself too seriously or try to bulldoze. That will only cause me to suffer, and it won’t allow me to grow. FUCK IT!
Over the weekend, I spoke at length with my family about how to live with a full heart for myself and for others. We tested a few methods, and I discovered three tricks that fill me up and keep me happy. You can try them too!
- Know your special terrible. Know those pesky thought and behavior patterns that indicate a competitive, isolating drive. Do you check social media too often? Do you obsessively weigh yourself? Do you compare your life to your friends or colleagues? Say Fuck it. Remember you’re awesome.
- See your old patterns as gifts. You can use them as sign posts to switch gears. Before you continue on the road of self-loathing, ask yourself: “Would I pay to do this/read this?” If the answer is no, stop. Do something that nourishes or grows you instead.
- Spend time with your Higher Power because he loves you (He loves me too, a lot.), and he wants us all to win.
- Say and write down what you want. Visualize it. Make it happen. Thoughts are things with power and you will attract what you focus on. Be smart and conscious.
My dad always says, you’re here to be yourself, not compare yourself. I’m remembering. I want more than anything to feel good in my skin, in my offering ALL the time. Once that’s in place, and I can move into that space with a simple conscious thought, then I’m positioned for exponential growth, deeper intimacy, and a lot more fun. So join me and let’s all say FUCK IT.